I want the fairytale.

The Love Cycle
MG
8/14/08

God, my heart aches.
It always seems to happen this way
Just when I let someone in,
I am let down.
All my life, and without fail.
Just when I am brave enough
To chose to let go,
To reach out
To grab hold,
I find I’ve nothing to grasp onto.
Why am I perpetually
Abandoned?
Is this my destiny?
Those who try to get me
Don’t.
And those who do,
Won’t.
It’s a brutal battle, and my heart
Bleeds.
I don’t know how much more
I can take.
I refuse to throw my pearls
Before swine.
In the end, I always choose to
Protect one heart…
Mine.
This cycle of love and loss,
Triumph and tears,
Hot then cold…
It’s making me harder,
More numb.
Before long I fear I won’t
Be me anymore.
Why, God, WHY isn’t love
Easy?
Should I really have to try
This hard?
And if all these feelings
You’ve given me are
True,
Then why are they so very
Unreciprocal?
Is there something I am supposed
To learn?
Is there another lesson in this?
I don’t know if I am
Strong enough
Anymore.
I am crying out to you, Lord…
Hear my plee.
Please, enlighten.
Bring light and softness into
The dark and cold.
Flood peace and security
Into the battered and worn down.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
Help me to own that with all
Of my being.
And in Your time,
If it is Your will,
If it’s not too much to ask…
Bring the fairytale,
That I might be forced
To believe.