"Rescued"

I'm very stubborn. Willful. This is not news to you. But sometimes, these things can be the death of me! Literally!!!

I've had a blood pressure problem for about a year now, which I haven't talked to many people about. There have been times it was so bad, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. I called my parents about it, and a close friend or two a few times when it got super bad, but for the most part, I just ignored it. I knew there was nothing I could do about it, after all, I was a single mom of three little ones, working full-time to make ends meet. And I had a lot of other stresses in my life, which in hindsight, I should have just completely disallowed. But that's another story... hindsight is 20/20. Anyway, suffice it to say, there wasn't a whole lot I could do to ease the burden I bore, and unfortunately, it began to affect my blood-pressure negatively.

Call me naive, but up until recently, I really had no idea how bad it is to have high blood pressure. I mean, I'm young, and pretty healthy. I had no clue it could have killed me. It wasn't until my loving and supportive boyfriend forced me to go in and have the doctor check it that I got the full picture of what might have happened had I continued to ignore the problem. I got lectured by the doctor for about an hour, and the whole time, Scott was sitting across the room from me with an, "I told you so... but I love you", sort of look on his face. I felt very humbled. Turns out, I actually could have died. Had a stroke. If I'd ignored the problem much longer, life could've gotten pretty ugly. Or ended. WOW!!!! What a wake up call!

So now I am on BP medication (hard to believe I have to take that at the age of 35... pretty crazy!). I'm starting to feel better already. We have to continue to monitor it of course, but it's so wonderful knowing I have someone who cares enough about me to make sure I am healthy. He makes me feel very loved. He's been my close friend for so many years. And I've known he's loved me for a while. But the way he loves me now, is frankly, just mind-blowing. He knows me soooo well. He knows my thought processes, and what my arguments will be. He knows my stubborn will, and how to deal with it. He is just such a blessing! He's everything I've prayed for. I don't really think I can find the words to explain it. He's a miracle.

Which brings me to my next point... I was sitting here for the past week considering the possibility that his gentle and loving, yet stubborn insistence very well may have saved my life. But to be honest, I feel he has saved my life in more ways than one.

So I wrote this poem....

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"Rescued"

Dec 16, 2009
By: MG for SJ

Love just may have saved my life
In ways innumerable.
I’d die a hundred lonely deaths,
Unloved; unlovable.
But just as soon as I’d assumed
I was just too far gone,
You swept me up and carried me
Through darkness into dawn.
You rescued me in spite of me.
You brushed aside my doubts.
You know me well. You know my past.
I tried to push you out,
For love and pain went hand in hand;
A double-edged sword.
Now, looking into true love’s eyes,
I know I am adored.
It makes me feel like all the scars
That screamed for far too long,
Have served their purpose beautifully.
Your subtle love is strong.
I will take for granted not
One moment of my days.
Your gentle heart and loving soul
Illuminate… Amaze.
I could have died in countless ways,
But I feel so alive!
Your passion is timeless and true.
My love, you’ve saved my life.