Aftermath

When the mega-storm hit,
I ran into Your arms.
I was in shock.
I had nowhere else to go.
You were the only place I felt safe.
I nestled into Your comforting embrace.
I was un-whole.
Irreparably injured.
Mortally wounded.
And you mourned with me.
You cried with me.
You held my heart.
Then there were days when I felt
Maybe I'd be okay.
Maybe I'd be stronger.
And healing began.
I sensed Your presence and Your love
In the initial aftermath,
But I'm having difficulty feeling those things
Now.
Why?
Have you gone?
Have I?
Sometimes when I'm wandering around
In bewilderment and doubt,
I think that I hear You whispering.
Soft words.
Love words.
Am I just too numb
To crawl back into Your arms?
I know I have shut out the world,
But is it possible that I am even
Shutting out the One who holds my scars,
And looks upon them as if
They are beautiful?
You are there, aren't You?
Arms outstretched,
Awaiting my return.
Patiently waiting for me to
Rest beneath Your sheltering wings.
I wish I could go back...
Back to the way things were
Before it hit.
The knowledge of how futile that wish is
Is causing me to feel like I'm sinking.
Helplessly.
Please, pull me out.
I still trust You.
Only You.
My strength is very weak.
I cannot hold on very tightly.
I'm weary.
This sorrow just won't seem to lift.
I really need You.
Hold on
To me.