The Gift is Acceptable

God blows my mind.  His unconditional Love and his ever abundant Grace are gifts that no price tag can ever be placed upon.  He has been working in me and through me in ways that are just so mind-boggling and surprising.  I have trouble understanding how God can take someone who is broken, and use them to spread a message of healing and love.  I am humbled by it, and so blessed.

The music practice with my worship team today started out rough.  We were short a few members, and instruments.  We were tired.  We were all kinda going through our own inner struggles.  The music just wasn't jiving or flowing, initially, and I began to really begin to sweat the concert we are putting on tomorrow.  I woke up feeling totally unworthy of this position God has called me to on the worship team, and I kept hearing this voice inside my head, "You're not a strong enough musician.  You're not a good enough singer.  You're not a whole enough person.  You shouldn't be up on that stage."  I opened up to my team about the thoughts and feelings of inadequacy I was struggling with, and we all decided we needed to pray.  The prayer time really helped.  And after that, the fogginess of the music kinda lifted, and things began to flow much better.  Instruments began to mesh, voices began to find harmony, and we could feel the Holy Spirit's presence with us.  It was so powerful, that after practice was finished and everyone left, I could not stop singing and playing for about another hour.  It was just me and God up there.  I was worshiping Him through song, and it was a really special time.  I heard his voice speak louder than the ones in my head.  He was saying to me, "I love you.  Do not be afraid.  I am with You.  I will use you to bless others and build My Kingdom, because you are willing."

God is showing me that no matter how unworthy we "feel" (and in actuality, we are), He will use us right where we are and bless others through the gifts that He has given us.  We don't have to feel good enough or well enough or perfect enough or ready... we just need to be obedient to His leading, and give of what we have been given.  

"For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have." - 2 Corinthians 8:12

I pray that God speaks through us tomorrow as we sing and play for Him, and I pray that lives and hearts are touched through the lyrics and the music.  May HIS voice be heard.