Night Vision

And when the dawn came,
She awoke to dried up tears. 
She became aware of a change,
A big change
within her.
She smiled, weary,
Though oddly at peace.
They thought the darkness
could overcome her,
But all she needed was
the smallest shred of hope,
until it all came rushing in,
like a torrent of light. 
She breathed it in deeply.
Awareness was her weapon. 
Never again would she allow darkness
to rob her of her Hope.
Never again would her light
be dimmed. 
There was one priceless gift
given to her
in the throws of the nightmares:
Night vision.
None could sneak up on her;
for God granted her intuition, discernment,
and intense bravery.
This made her calm
in the face of adversity;
Not because she didn't hurt,
But because she had a weapon,
That no one
could take away from her.
Night would fall again,
but she would be ready.
Bruised, but not broken.
Beaten, but brave.
A quiet warrior,
Awaiting the night.
Waiting in peaceful silence
to obliterate it
with her will
and her Light.

A prayer from a Broken Heart

You are our peace,
When we don't understand.
Beauty from ashes
Are at Your command.
We give You this ache.
We call on Your name.
Sweet Jesus, bring healing.
Bring peace down like rain.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Rena,

I love you, my sweet, beautiful, talented, big-hearted, amazing cousin.  You will be so dearly missed!  May God hold you in His very arms and hug you tight. 💔

Monica

Hurts to Grow

Rescue. 
Isn't that what I need?
I've been waiting here,
Patiently.

Shelter
From the falling world,
Threatening to drown
This girl.

But maybe I was meant
to sink
To the bottom of everything
I think,
And drown in the softest Love
I'll ever know.
I'm learning.
Sometimes it hurts
to grow.

Valleys
Teach us everything.
We don't need to fly
To see.

Strength comes
When you lay down your might.
You don't have to fight
For peace.

So, maybe this time
We bleed.
Wounds heal.
Scars mark history.
Even though sometimes it hurts
To grow,
We're learning.
We're stronger than
We know.

Love called you away....

It was Love that brought you to us,
All too soon Love called you away.
We will waste no time with "Why?"
There's nothing left here but Faith.

How can we whisper goodbye,
When we never even got to see your face?
How we wish we could have held you tight!
Now you're cradled; warm in Mercy's embrace.

You're an Angel with soft, brand new wings.
You are Home, where pain cannot touch.
We want you to know, precious little one,
We love you. We love you very much.

Holy Father, kiss our baby for us.
Let him know just how treasured he is.
On a day not too far we'll sing to him in our arms.
Endless thanks, God, for our cherished gift.

~~~~~
Monica Wagner • 2/27/17

Clumsy Heart Thoughts

There aren't words,
Pictures,
Songs.
There are no smells or tastes,
or anything tangible
To relay my clumsy heart thoughts.
All I can do is worry and cry and pray,
And wait, wait, wait,
For a distinctly dissimilar day.
I must state what is obvious
Only to myself...
I am truly, greatly grateful
For my precious blessings.
But, this aching affliction
Makes my smile look
Upside down.
How can I not note
The concern in their eyes,
As they lie and say everything is fine?
No, it's not.
It is not.
And my heart thoughts race,
And stumbling, run away with me,
Before finally fading to numb,
Leaving me behind
Gasping for breath
In a deep pool of tears.
What do I do now?
The question is moot.
I know I need to "do"
Nothing.
Just be.
Rest.
Breathe.
I will stifle my cries.
I will squeeze shut my eyes.
I will be still.
I will hope.
I WILL hope.
I'll be still and I'll hope,
For what else is there to live for?