...First song I've written in almost a year! Feels so good to be able to write again. It's a simple tune, written in the key of F, and given to me by the Great Healer.
~~~~~~~~~~
Letting go may not be easy.
It hurts to think that it's for good.
Choices to make... How things get hazy
When we don't make the ones we should.
But Love
Is here with you.
It was.
Always will be.
And God, He wants you to know
It's okay to let go.
Earnest prayers, they surround you.
Rest assured you're not alone.
There is One who heals forsaken hearts.
His Love can make the broken, whole.
And Love
Is here with you.
It was.
Always will be.
Though time may not heal all wounds,
Your Father God will carry you.
Give HIM your heart.
He'll make it new.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
"Rain"
Rain.
The sky is shedding therapy.
God knew.
He has spread wide the floodgates of the heavens.
He has demolished a dam in my soul.
Painful, awakening, cleansing, blissful
Rain.....
Fall and fall and fall on me
Until these feelings
Wash away,
And I am clean and free again,
To live with passion,
To love with wisdom;
And grow like a brand new, brightly colored tulip,
Eager to experience warmth and light.
I must greet this storm with openness.
Soon I will be new. Beautiful. Strong.
Liberated.
The sun will shine again.
But for today,
I will surrender to
Rain.
The sky is shedding therapy.
God knew.
He has spread wide the floodgates of the heavens.
He has demolished a dam in my soul.
Painful, awakening, cleansing, blissful
Rain.....
Fall and fall and fall on me
Until these feelings
Wash away,
And I am clean and free again,
To live with passion,
To love with wisdom;
And grow like a brand new, brightly colored tulip,
Eager to experience warmth and light.
I must greet this storm with openness.
Soon I will be new. Beautiful. Strong.
Liberated.
The sun will shine again.
But for today,
I will surrender to
Rain.
Sunday, February 07, 2010
"Provision"
As always, God has amazed me with His provision. I lost my job a few weeks ago, happened upon a job posting for a better one online, went through a 3 week long application process, and was made a wonderful job offer a few days ago. I start work tomorrow! I can't say that I'm completely shocked, as God perpetually showers my life with favor. Though I'm not surprised, I am definitely filled with gratitude and thanks to a God who knew my needs, and opened even better doors than ones which were closed to me. With the economy like it is and countless people out of work and struggling to find jobs, this blessing is not taken for granted even a little by me. So I wrote a song about it.
I wanted to share it as a public sign of gratitude to God for His provision, but also, and more deeply, because I know there are many of you who are feeling the negative affects of our economic state and high unemployment rate. I just want to encourage you to pray for a good job, or whatever it may be you are in specific need of, take whatever action is necessary on your part (exercising as much faith and patience as possible), and BELIEVE IN MIRACLES. Then, just sit back and watch as they unfold. And they will.
The song is unfinished, but here's what I've got so far this evening. Nate (my youngest son) was listening to me practice it, and fell asleep on the floor by my Korg keyboard. It seems he's feeling peaceful too.
~~~~~~
"Provision"
Flowers in the field,
Birds in the air,
Unto the least of these
You offer constant care.
Who am I to question all that You provide?
Who am I to doubt?
Frustrated and afraid,
I find myself.
I'm so faithless some days,
Though I know well
Who You are: a God who's never let me down.
Who am I to doubt?
You say, "Hush now. Just be still."
You say, "Trust now and I will
Show you Love. Just wait. You will see!"
So I'll hush now and be still,
And I'll trust now and I will
Let You love me. You'll always love me.
Flowers in the field,
Birds in the air,
Unto the least of these
You offer constant care.
Who am I to question all that You provide?
Who am I to doubt...
Your provision.
~~~~~~~
Blessings and Love,
~m~
I wanted to share it as a public sign of gratitude to God for His provision, but also, and more deeply, because I know there are many of you who are feeling the negative affects of our economic state and high unemployment rate. I just want to encourage you to pray for a good job, or whatever it may be you are in specific need of, take whatever action is necessary on your part (exercising as much faith and patience as possible), and BELIEVE IN MIRACLES. Then, just sit back and watch as they unfold. And they will.
The song is unfinished, but here's what I've got so far this evening. Nate (my youngest son) was listening to me practice it, and fell asleep on the floor by my Korg keyboard. It seems he's feeling peaceful too.
~~~~~~
"Provision"
Flowers in the field,
Birds in the air,
Unto the least of these
You offer constant care.
Who am I to question all that You provide?
Who am I to doubt?
Frustrated and afraid,
I find myself.
I'm so faithless some days,
Though I know well
Who You are: a God who's never let me down.
Who am I to doubt?
You say, "Hush now. Just be still."
You say, "Trust now and I will
Show you Love. Just wait. You will see!"
So I'll hush now and be still,
And I'll trust now and I will
Let You love me. You'll always love me.
Flowers in the field,
Birds in the air,
Unto the least of these
You offer constant care.
Who am I to question all that You provide?
Who am I to doubt...
Your provision.
~~~~~~~
Blessings and Love,
~m~
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Curve Balls
Life has thrown me a few curve balls again, as of late. Par for Monica's course it seems, and yet I KNOW God will take care of everything, just as He always does. Doesn't mean I don't struggle with fear and doubt sometimes, in the midst of the unknown, but ultimately, my faith brings me back to the knowledge and owning that God WILL NOT forsake me.
I have lots to say, so I'm going to have to summarize here, or this blog would be far too long and venty (if that's not a word, it should be).
As you all know, I received primary custody of Breauna and Caleb last September, unexpectedly. It's been a year of adjustments, but it's been a blessing. They visit their dad every other weekend now, and things seemed to have calmed down there a whole lot, which is an answer to many prayers. It has honestly been a challenge to take care of a family of 4 all on my own. Now suddenly, my job is not going so well (for reasons no one can do anything about), and as of this Friday, I will be jobless. I've been praying hard, and job-hunting, and have interviewed with a few places. I have a few more to go, though in this economy, no one seems to want to pay me what I know I'm worth, and what I am accustomed to making. But that's alright. We can definitely tighten the belt a bit. I just want to make sure my kids are well taken care of. Pray for me this week, if you think of it. I really need to find a stable position of employment, and soon, as I don't believe in living off of "the system". I want to work to support my children, just as I've always done.
Now, in addition to the financial stress, I've recently found out my ex-husband has without any warning quit his job with the Sheriff's Department, and accepted a position overseas... as in, OUT OF THE COUNTRY. Ugh!!!! This presents a whole new gamut of stresses, believe me! One of which is the fact that my kids will see their dad next to never. They've already gone through the feeling of being without a father (back when we were going through the CPS trial, and then again for a few months this past summer when he was just "too busy"), and it broke my heart. Now they will have to go through all that hurt again, and for an indefinite period of time. He hasn't even told them yet, though he's supposed to be leaving the country very soon. My heart breaks for them. I wish life was easier. I wish Bre and Caleb's father made wiser choices. I wish Nate's father made wiser choices. But I can't do anything about them. I somehow just have to be enough. It's very overwhelming, and scary at times, but I know by the grace of God, I CAN raise emotionally healthy children.
I am worried and stressed and tired and unsure of the future. But I am soooo thankful for a supportive family and loving boyfriend, without whom I fear I'd lose my marbles. I am also incredibly thankful for a God was has ALWAYS provided and taken care of us, and who has never once let me down. I know for a fact that things will be okay, no matter how bleak they may seem at the moment. He's promised me this. And I am choosing faith over fear in these chaotic times.
I sat down to pray this morning, and suddenly had to run to the keyboard. Yep, you guessed it... a song was on my heart, and it was about to boil over. I wrote the lyrics and music in probably 3 minutes, and then felt oh so much better. It's just a simple prayer from the heart, in the key of 'G'. I feel peace and hope, and I just wanted to share. I wish I could play and sing it for ya, but since I can't, here are the lyrics, at least.
-----------------
"Follow You"
MG ~ 01/13/10
Right now things are hazy.
Sometimes I get weak.
The future is uncertain,
But I feel Your hand on me.
Ever Faithful.
Ever True.
I'll forever
Follow You.
Only You know the answers.
I know You have a plan.
Unknown things make me crazy,
So I will place this in Your hands.
Ever Faithful.
Ever True.
I'll Forever
Follow You.
----------------
I'm heading to a job interview now (2nd of the day). God bless all of you, and may we always recognize His hand at work in our lives, even when can't see it in the moment.
~m~
I have lots to say, so I'm going to have to summarize here, or this blog would be far too long and venty (if that's not a word, it should be).
As you all know, I received primary custody of Breauna and Caleb last September, unexpectedly. It's been a year of adjustments, but it's been a blessing. They visit their dad every other weekend now, and things seemed to have calmed down there a whole lot, which is an answer to many prayers. It has honestly been a challenge to take care of a family of 4 all on my own. Now suddenly, my job is not going so well (for reasons no one can do anything about), and as of this Friday, I will be jobless. I've been praying hard, and job-hunting, and have interviewed with a few places. I have a few more to go, though in this economy, no one seems to want to pay me what I know I'm worth, and what I am accustomed to making. But that's alright. We can definitely tighten the belt a bit. I just want to make sure my kids are well taken care of. Pray for me this week, if you think of it. I really need to find a stable position of employment, and soon, as I don't believe in living off of "the system". I want to work to support my children, just as I've always done.
Now, in addition to the financial stress, I've recently found out my ex-husband has without any warning quit his job with the Sheriff's Department, and accepted a position overseas... as in, OUT OF THE COUNTRY. Ugh!!!! This presents a whole new gamut of stresses, believe me! One of which is the fact that my kids will see their dad next to never. They've already gone through the feeling of being without a father (back when we were going through the CPS trial, and then again for a few months this past summer when he was just "too busy"), and it broke my heart. Now they will have to go through all that hurt again, and for an indefinite period of time. He hasn't even told them yet, though he's supposed to be leaving the country very soon. My heart breaks for them. I wish life was easier. I wish Bre and Caleb's father made wiser choices. I wish Nate's father made wiser choices. But I can't do anything about them. I somehow just have to be enough. It's very overwhelming, and scary at times, but I know by the grace of God, I CAN raise emotionally healthy children.
I am worried and stressed and tired and unsure of the future. But I am soooo thankful for a supportive family and loving boyfriend, without whom I fear I'd lose my marbles. I am also incredibly thankful for a God was has ALWAYS provided and taken care of us, and who has never once let me down. I know for a fact that things will be okay, no matter how bleak they may seem at the moment. He's promised me this. And I am choosing faith over fear in these chaotic times.
I sat down to pray this morning, and suddenly had to run to the keyboard. Yep, you guessed it... a song was on my heart, and it was about to boil over. I wrote the lyrics and music in probably 3 minutes, and then felt oh so much better. It's just a simple prayer from the heart, in the key of 'G'. I feel peace and hope, and I just wanted to share. I wish I could play and sing it for ya, but since I can't, here are the lyrics, at least.
-----------------
"Follow You"
MG ~ 01/13/10
Right now things are hazy.
Sometimes I get weak.
The future is uncertain,
But I feel Your hand on me.
Ever Faithful.
Ever True.
I'll forever
Follow You.
Only You know the answers.
I know You have a plan.
Unknown things make me crazy,
So I will place this in Your hands.
Ever Faithful.
Ever True.
I'll Forever
Follow You.
----------------
I'm heading to a job interview now (2nd of the day). God bless all of you, and may we always recognize His hand at work in our lives, even when can't see it in the moment.
~m~
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
"I Believe"
V1:
Just when I thought I had it all
Figured out,
You came into my life,
And you knocked me down.
Back to where my heart is new,
Back to when true love is true.
You are the reason I believe.
I took for granted
The unknown.
Got lost in the trying
To find home.
And all the things I thought I knew
Faded to grey when I found you.
You are the reason I believe.
Chorus:
Oh, where did you come from?
Oh, is this a dream?
You were always the one.
Now I believe.
V2:
I'm not so smart, I'm
Kinda dumb.
I missed the boat so many times,
Waiting for it to come.
And you were right in front of me.
It took too long for me to see.
Now, you are the reason I believe.
Chorus:
Oh, where did you come from?
Oh, is this a dream?
You were always the one.
Now I believe.
Just when I thought I had it all
Figured out,
You came into my life,
And you knocked me down.
Back to where my heart is new,
Back to when true love is true.
You are the reason I believe.
I took for granted
The unknown.
Got lost in the trying
To find home.
And all the things I thought I knew
Faded to grey when I found you.
You are the reason I believe.
Chorus:
Oh, where did you come from?
Oh, is this a dream?
You were always the one.
Now I believe.
V2:
I'm not so smart, I'm
Kinda dumb.
I missed the boat so many times,
Waiting for it to come.
And you were right in front of me.
It took too long for me to see.
Now, you are the reason I believe.
Chorus:
Oh, where did you come from?
Oh, is this a dream?
You were always the one.
Now I believe.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
"Love Is (My Christmas Carol)"
I am feeling so happy and full of life today. I've had a wonderful, Christmassy morning w/ my precious children. All bundled in our comfy, fuzzy jammies, we wrapped gifts & drank egg nog, and I played Christmas songs on the keyboard. There were lots of cuddles and hugs and "I love you's" and "Merry Christmas's" between us all this morning. Life doesn't get any sweeter!!! I'm in love, my kids are happy and healthy and I just feel so very thankful to God this Christmas season. I had to write about it, of course. After I wrote this song this morning, I sang it to my kids. They loved it! They gushed over it and made me feel even warmer inside. I'm so thankful for music, love, kids and life.
~~~~~~~~
"Love Is (my Christmas Carol)"
I am thankful for so many things.
I've so much more than I'd dreamed of.
My beautiful children, my family, life and friends,
And love... Sweet love.
This season I'm reminded of You, Jesus,
And all the gifts You've given me.
I'm happiest of all! My gift to You is small:
It's my eternal love...
Chorus:
Love is... Angels in the snow.
Love is... Christmas lights aglow.
Winter hugs and children laughing; snow is falling down.
Love is all around.
It's Christmas.
I feel so adored by You now.
You've made all of my dreams come true.
I can't help singing out! Love is all around.
I'll spend the rest of my life loving You!
Chorus:
Love is... Angels in the snow.
Love is... Christmas lights aglow.
Winter hugs and children laughing; snow is falling down.
Your love is all around.
It's Christmas.
Merry Christmas, my Jesus.
~~~~~~~~
"Love Is (my Christmas Carol)"
I am thankful for so many things.
I've so much more than I'd dreamed of.
My beautiful children, my family, life and friends,
And love... Sweet love.
This season I'm reminded of You, Jesus,
And all the gifts You've given me.
I'm happiest of all! My gift to You is small:
It's my eternal love...
Chorus:
Love is... Angels in the snow.
Love is... Christmas lights aglow.
Winter hugs and children laughing; snow is falling down.
Love is all around.
It's Christmas.
I feel so adored by You now.
You've made all of my dreams come true.
I can't help singing out! Love is all around.
I'll spend the rest of my life loving You!
Chorus:
Love is... Angels in the snow.
Love is... Christmas lights aglow.
Winter hugs and children laughing; snow is falling down.
Your love is all around.
It's Christmas.
Merry Christmas, my Jesus.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
"Rescued"
I'm very stubborn. Willful. This is not news to you. But sometimes, these things can be the death of me! Literally!!!
I've had a blood pressure problem for about a year now, which I haven't talked to many people about. There have been times it was so bad, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. I called my parents about it, and a close friend or two a few times when it got super bad, but for the most part, I just ignored it. I knew there was nothing I could do about it, after all, I was a single mom of three little ones, working full-time to make ends meet. And I had a lot of other stresses in my life, which in hindsight, I should have just completely disallowed. But that's another story... hindsight is 20/20. Anyway, suffice it to say, there wasn't a whole lot I could do to ease the burden I bore, and unfortunately, it began to affect my blood-pressure negatively.
Call me naive, but up until recently, I really had no idea how bad it is to have high blood pressure. I mean, I'm young, and pretty healthy. I had no clue it could have killed me. It wasn't until my loving and supportive boyfriend forced me to go in and have the doctor check it that I got the full picture of what might have happened had I continued to ignore the problem. I got lectured by the doctor for about an hour, and the whole time, Scott was sitting across the room from me with an, "I told you so... but I love you", sort of look on his face. I felt very humbled. Turns out, I actually could have died. Had a stroke. If I'd ignored the problem much longer, life could've gotten pretty ugly. Or ended. WOW!!!! What a wake up call!
So now I am on BP medication (hard to believe I have to take that at the age of 35... pretty crazy!). I'm starting to feel better already. We have to continue to monitor it of course, but it's so wonderful knowing I have someone who cares enough about me to make sure I am healthy. He makes me feel very loved. He's been my close friend for so many years. And I've known he's loved me for a while. But the way he loves me now, is frankly, just mind-blowing. He knows me soooo well. He knows my thought processes, and what my arguments will be. He knows my stubborn will, and how to deal with it. He is just such a blessing! He's everything I've prayed for. I don't really think I can find the words to explain it. He's a miracle.
Which brings me to my next point... I was sitting here for the past week considering the possibility that his gentle and loving, yet stubborn insistence very well may have saved my life. But to be honest, I feel he has saved my life in more ways than one.
So I wrote this poem....
~~~~~~
"Rescued"
Dec 16, 2009
By: MG for SJ
Love just may have saved my life
In ways innumerable.
I’d die a hundred lonely deaths,
Unloved; unlovable.
But just as soon as I’d assumed
I was just too far gone,
You swept me up and carried me
Through darkness into dawn.
You rescued me in spite of me.
You brushed aside my doubts.
You know me well. You know my past.
I tried to push you out,
For love and pain went hand in hand;
A double-edged sword.
Now, looking into true love’s eyes,
I know I am adored.
It makes me feel like all the scars
That screamed for far too long,
Have served their purpose beautifully.
Your subtle love is strong.
I will take for granted not
One moment of my days.
Your gentle heart and loving soul
Illuminate… Amaze.
I could have died in countless ways,
But I feel so alive!
Your passion is timeless and true.
My love, you’ve saved my life.
I've had a blood pressure problem for about a year now, which I haven't talked to many people about. There have been times it was so bad, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. I called my parents about it, and a close friend or two a few times when it got super bad, but for the most part, I just ignored it. I knew there was nothing I could do about it, after all, I was a single mom of three little ones, working full-time to make ends meet. And I had a lot of other stresses in my life, which in hindsight, I should have just completely disallowed. But that's another story... hindsight is 20/20. Anyway, suffice it to say, there wasn't a whole lot I could do to ease the burden I bore, and unfortunately, it began to affect my blood-pressure negatively.
Call me naive, but up until recently, I really had no idea how bad it is to have high blood pressure. I mean, I'm young, and pretty healthy. I had no clue it could have killed me. It wasn't until my loving and supportive boyfriend forced me to go in and have the doctor check it that I got the full picture of what might have happened had I continued to ignore the problem. I got lectured by the doctor for about an hour, and the whole time, Scott was sitting across the room from me with an, "I told you so... but I love you", sort of look on his face. I felt very humbled. Turns out, I actually could have died. Had a stroke. If I'd ignored the problem much longer, life could've gotten pretty ugly. Or ended. WOW!!!! What a wake up call!
So now I am on BP medication (hard to believe I have to take that at the age of 35... pretty crazy!). I'm starting to feel better already. We have to continue to monitor it of course, but it's so wonderful knowing I have someone who cares enough about me to make sure I am healthy. He makes me feel very loved. He's been my close friend for so many years. And I've known he's loved me for a while. But the way he loves me now, is frankly, just mind-blowing. He knows me soooo well. He knows my thought processes, and what my arguments will be. He knows my stubborn will, and how to deal with it. He is just such a blessing! He's everything I've prayed for. I don't really think I can find the words to explain it. He's a miracle.
Which brings me to my next point... I was sitting here for the past week considering the possibility that his gentle and loving, yet stubborn insistence very well may have saved my life. But to be honest, I feel he has saved my life in more ways than one.
So I wrote this poem....
~~~~~~
"Rescued"
Dec 16, 2009
By: MG for SJ
Love just may have saved my life
In ways innumerable.
I’d die a hundred lonely deaths,
Unloved; unlovable.
But just as soon as I’d assumed
I was just too far gone,
You swept me up and carried me
Through darkness into dawn.
You rescued me in spite of me.
You brushed aside my doubts.
You know me well. You know my past.
I tried to push you out,
For love and pain went hand in hand;
A double-edged sword.
Now, looking into true love’s eyes,
I know I am adored.
It makes me feel like all the scars
That screamed for far too long,
Have served their purpose beautifully.
Your subtle love is strong.
I will take for granted not
One moment of my days.
Your gentle heart and loving soul
Illuminate… Amaze.
I could have died in countless ways,
But I feel so alive!
Your passion is timeless and true.
My love, you’ve saved my life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)