From Tragedy to Hope

11 years ago today, a terrible tragedy struck our nation.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  I had just the night before made a very foolish, life-changing decision.  That day, my whole world changed, and was completely turned upside down.  I feel sick when I look back on the devastation that was going on in my country and also in my own personal life.  Many heroes arose that day, and our nation pulled together with broken hearts, yet a united strength and determination to not let the horrific injustice of 9/11/01 pull us down.  I've wished many times that we could all just have a do over on that day... that I could have the chance to rethink, undo... that I wouldn't have made the horrible choices I was making in my life at that point... that we could as a Nation have somehow forseen the attacks on the World Trade Center, and prevented the horrific and devastating loss of so many lives.  The tragedy of that day still echoes within my heart like a silent scream of helplessness and mourning.

We cannot change the past.  We cannot allow ourselves to become stuck there either.  We must not live every day with loss, tragedy and defeat as our captors.  We must move forward.  Press on.  Allow hope to fill us with the promise of a new day.  I am guilty of subconsciously allowing myself to get stuck in the past, wallowing in depression and self-accusation.  In doing so, I was inadvertently stunting my own growth.  Yes, it is important to remember.  That is how we learn what not to do in the future.  While it is important to realize we are powerless to change the past, it so much more important to give all the brokenness to Jesus and trust that He will work ALL things together for our good.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28

"And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."  2 Corinthians 9:8

With all the past personal failures and all the unwanted tragedies I have known in this life.... With all the changes going on in our world and all the ups and downs and possibilities and fears, I/we need to remember there is only one thing that will never, ever fail....  God's Love.  Things change.  Circumstances change.  People change.  God does not.  He stays the same, as does His love for us.  There is comfort and rest in that knowledge.

"But You [God] remain the same, and Your years will never end." - Psalm 102:27

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.  His Love endures forever." - Psalm 136:1

"Love never fails." - I Corinthians 13:8

"I trust in God's unfailing love forever and ever." - Psalm 52:8

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness." - Jeremiah 31:3

A song I know came to my heart yesterday, and I have been listening to it non-stop.  I am going to learn it on the keyboard today so I can teach it to my worship team, and we can sing it in church on Sunday.  It's called "Your Love Never Fails", and I just love it.  It's so true!  I am so thankful today, that even in my solemn moments of reflection, I can cling to the hope and peace which comes from knowing God's Love is unfailing.  He is the Comforter; the Great Healer.  And He has promised he will make ALL things work together for my/our good.  I believe that with my whole heart.  That belief transforms the anguish into hope.

~

Here is the link to "Your Love Never Fails" - performed here by Jesus Culture:

http://youtu.be/PXsWAAhnGhc

http://youtu.be/PXsWAAhnGhc

The Gift is Acceptable

God blows my mind.  His unconditional Love and his ever abundant Grace are gifts that no price tag can ever be placed upon.  He has been working in me and through me in ways that are just so mind-boggling and surprising.  I have trouble understanding how God can take someone who is broken, and use them to spread a message of healing and love.  I am humbled by it, and so blessed.

The music practice with my worship team today started out rough.  We were short a few members, and instruments.  We were tired.  We were all kinda going through our own inner struggles.  The music just wasn't jiving or flowing, initially, and I began to really begin to sweat the concert we are putting on tomorrow.  I woke up feeling totally unworthy of this position God has called me to on the worship team, and I kept hearing this voice inside my head, "You're not a strong enough musician.  You're not a good enough singer.  You're not a whole enough person.  You shouldn't be up on that stage."  I opened up to my team about the thoughts and feelings of inadequacy I was struggling with, and we all decided we needed to pray.  The prayer time really helped.  And after that, the fogginess of the music kinda lifted, and things began to flow much better.  Instruments began to mesh, voices began to find harmony, and we could feel the Holy Spirit's presence with us.  It was so powerful, that after practice was finished and everyone left, I could not stop singing and playing for about another hour.  It was just me and God up there.  I was worshiping Him through song, and it was a really special time.  I heard his voice speak louder than the ones in my head.  He was saying to me, "I love you.  Do not be afraid.  I am with You.  I will use you to bless others and build My Kingdom, because you are willing."

God is showing me that no matter how unworthy we "feel" (and in actuality, we are), He will use us right where we are and bless others through the gifts that He has given us.  We don't have to feel good enough or well enough or perfect enough or ready... we just need to be obedient to His leading, and give of what we have been given.  

"For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have." - 2 Corinthians 8:12

I pray that God speaks through us tomorrow as we sing and play for Him, and I pray that lives and hearts are touched through the lyrics and the music.  May HIS voice be heard.

Discrimination and Love

I wrote a sermon last night.  LOL.... no clue why I wrote it, but it came to me, and I had to get it out.  Crazy.   Not even sure what to do with it!  I'm not a pastor or a saint or anything remotely close, so why a "sermon" came to me is beyond me.  I was thinking, "What the heck am I gonna do with all this stuff I just wrote... Oh, wait... I have a blog!  Maybe I'll just post it on there."  Soooo, here it is.  Hope you don't stone me for writing it!

~~~

Discrimination.  It’s BIG no-no in our society.  We are supposed to be loving, as Jesus was loving.  Love is, after all, the whole point.  And yet, discrimination exists, even among (and sometimes most prominently evident in) Christian communities.  Discrimination because of race, creed, color, religion, national origin, ancestry, sex, age or disability.... those are things that are unacceptable in today’s culture.  I’d like to make a bold statement and say that I agree that MOST discrimination is wrong.  But not all.  Discrimination means: “treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing belongs rather than on individual merit... the power of making fine distinctions; discriminating  judgment... something that serves to differentiate”, according to the Dictionary.  So in reading the definition of the word, I would say there is actually a time and place for it.”

“Discrimination because of race, creed, color,
religion, national origin, ancestry, sex, age or disability...”

I want to dissect this... It is biblically wrong to discriminate against the above, with exception.  Discrimination against someone’s God-given being (like race, sex, disability, age, ancestry, etc...) is wrong.  But biblically, there is discrimination that is justified, but must be tempered with love and wisdom rather than judgmentalism and condemnation... and that is one that a person is not born with, but chooses... such as: religion.  I believe that religion is the one thing about which we SHOULD be discriminatory.  Backing up off of that hot topic for a moment, let me say that God loves all races, colors, sexes the same.  None is better in His eyes than another.  Here’s how we know God is not partial to these things:

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave[a] nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28

“Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.” 1 John 2:9

“For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him.”  Romans 10:12

 “But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors.”  James 2:9

“For God shows no partiality.”  Romans 2:11

“And have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.”  Colossians 3: 10 - 11

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”  Genesis 1:27

“And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place.”  Acts 17:26

And a lot more references regarding race, color, sex, etc. exist... HOWEVER, here’s what the Bible has to say about religion...

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”  John 14:6

“See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.”  Colossians 2:8

“My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world. And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: ...”  1 John 2...

“So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good. As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. ...”  I Peter 2

“Having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.”  2 Timothy 3:5

“But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect..”  I Peter 3:15

“And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”  Hebrews 11:6

“In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.”  I john 4:9

“For God so loved the world,[a] that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16

“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, ...”  I Timothy 2...

There are SO many more scriptures on that topic.  Race, color, sex.... those are all equal in the eyes of God/Jesus/Holy Spirit..... however, “religion” is not.  He is the one, true, only God.  And Jesus is the only “way” into the Heaven that we all want (or should want) to be a part of...

JESUS speaking: “I am the way, the truth, and the life: No man cometh unto the father, but by me.”  John 14:6

So this is where I have a slight problem with being “open” to all beliefs.  Because, clearly, God isn’t either...

“There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.”  Ephesians 4: 4-6

“You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “and my servant whom I have chosen, that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor shall there be any after me.  Isaiah 43:10

“Yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist.”  I Corinthians 8:6

“For from the least to the greatest of them, everyone is greedy for unjust gain; and from prophet to priest, everyone deals falsely. They have healed the wound of my people lightly, saying, ‘Peace, peace,’ when there is no peace. Were they ashamed when they committed abomination? No, they were not at all ashamed; they did not know how to blush. Therefore they shall fall among those who fall; at the time that I punish them, they shall be overthrown,” says the Lord.“ Jeremiah 6...

Pretty clear.  Black, white, rich, poor, any and all walk of life... He LOVES you, and wants you to live in glory with Him in Heaven.  The only exception is... those who deny Him... Jesus... His diety... they make their own path.  And it is a dark one.  There are scriptures about that too.  But I’d rather focus on the positives, and hope and pray that those who deny Jesus Christ as the Way/Truth/Life will somehow awaken and see that He is calling them into Life.  And He wants all of mankind to accept that Love, and be a part of that eternal bliss.  Yes, there are boundaries, without which we would not be able to attempt to define and/or understand Love.  God’s Love.  Regardless of race, creed, color, religion, etc, etc, etc... God’s Love is the only thing that can save any one of us.  None of us are beneath God's ability to love and save.  Not one of us.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”  John 3:16

Ambiguous Quest

Tiny fragments
Like shards of sanity
Surround my bleeding feet,
And cut me as I trudge forward
Through the thickest of dark
Towards the opaque window.
If only I can catch a glimpse,
Maybe I’ll know how to prepare.
But as always,
The unknown taunts me.
From beyond the space I cannot see,
It shrieks it’s familiar, high-pitched
Song of mockery.
I hum along.  I bleed.  I wander,
Searching for an exit sign.
Wishing for a guide, or a light
Or even just some shoes.
I stop for a moment.
I reach down and pull out a shiny sliver...
Oh look, it’s so sparkily...
So pretty.
I hold it up to my eyes and realize
It is a mirror.
The image I see in the broken piece
Is not my own.
It couldn’t possibly be.
The girl in the reflection is
Much too young...
Much too vibrant...
Too confident...
Too whole.
So I shake my head,
And set it down.
I step on it,
And bleed again.
I wonder a lot as I wander about.
My mind is brimming with
Ambiguous questions,
Like:
What’s on the other side of that window?
Why won’t the wretched singing stop?
How much can one person actually bleed?
What did the shiny mirror look like
Before it broke?
Who broke it?
Why is no one coming
To save me?
Ugh!
All these nagging questions...
I don’t have time for them.
I must hurry.
After all, I’m on a quest
To find out
What my quest is.

Cooking w/ a Challenge

My mom has been stuggling w/ health issues, the most recent of which is an ulcer, which has had her in agony for the past month, before being diagnosed with it yesterday (please keep her in your prayers).  One of the ways she is being treated is by a very strict diet.  There's a long list of things she cannot eat, which really limits her ability to, well, eat.  That has got to be so frustrating.  So, I have decided that since I live so close to her now, I am going to use my love for cooking to create very healthy, savory meals which omit any ingredients she cannot have, and include those ingredients which are healthy and good for her.

I made dinner again tonight, to show her she can love food, even with so many restrictions.  I googled some recipes on allrecipes.com, and subbed out the bad ingredients, replacing them with healthy ones.  The following is what my mom, grandpa, son & I ate for dinner.  This meal fed all 4 of us, with leftovers.  ...Shrimp Dijonnaise, Vegan Yellow Squash Casserole & Raisin and Spice Brown Rice.  I have to admit, it was all pretty yum.  Even my 9 year old loved the whole meal.  He told me over and over.  Score!


Shrimp Dijonnaise

1/2 cup apple juice
1/4 cup coconut oil
2 TBSP olive oil
2 TBSP Dijon mustard
1 TBSP Worcestershire
1 TBSP Herbes de Province
1 tsp sea salt
1 tsp crack black pepper
3/4 lb cooked shrimp, peeled & deveined

In a large resealable bag, combine the apple juice, coconut oil, dijon mustard, Worcestershire sauce and herbs and seasoning. Add shrimp; seal bag and turn to coat. Refrigerate for 4 hours, turning occasionally. Drain.  Do not discard marinade. Broil shrimp 4 in. from the heat for 2 minutes or until pink.  Pour mixture into pan and add 2 Tbsp corn starch.  Bring just barely to a boil.  Let cool to thicken into a gravy.  Serve shrimp w/ the dijon gravy poured over the top.

~


Vegan Yellow Squash Casserole

4 cups sliced yellow squash
1/2 cup chopped onion (sub 1 chopped apple if you don’t like onion)
35 rice crackers, crushed
1 cup diced vegan Cheddar cheese substitute
1/4 cup water
3/4 cup coconut milk
1/4 cup coconut butter/oil
1 teaspoon sea salt
ground black pepper to taste
2 tablespoons olive oil

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
Place squash and apple in a large skillet over medium heat. Pour in a small amount of water. Cover, and cook until squash is tender, about 5 minutes. Drain well, and place in a large bowl.
In a medium bowl, mix together cracker crumbs and cheese. Stir half of the cracker mixture into the cooked squash and apples. In a small bowl, mix together water and rice milk, then add to squash mixture. Stir in 1/4 cup coconut oil, and season with salt and pepper. Spread into a 9x13 inch baking dish. Sprinkle with remaining cracker mixture, and dot with 2 tablespoons olive oil.
Bake in preheated oven for 25 minutes, or until lightly browned.

~


Raisin and Spice Brown Rice

Ingredients:
1 cup brown rice
2 cups chicken broth or stock
1 tablespoon coconut oil
1 bay leaf
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 cup chopped yellow bell pepper
1 teaspoon minced fresh ginger
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
1/3 cup thinly sliced celery
1/4 cup seedless raisins
1 tablespoon low-sodium soy sauce
freshly ground black pepper to taste

Bring brown rice, chicken broth, butter, and bay leaf to a boil in a saucepan over high heat. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until the rice is tender, 45 to 50 minutes; discard bay leaf.
Meanwhile, heat the vegetable oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. Stir in onion and ginger; cook and stir until the bell pepper begins to brown on the edges, about 3 minutes. Stir in the cumin and coriander, then stir in the celery and raisins. Reduce heat to medium, and cook until the celery becomes tender, about 5 minutes. Once ready, stir the bell pepper mixture into the cooked rice along with the soy sauce; season to taste with pepper.

~

The above recipes contain NO gluten, wheat, dairy, eggs, beef, or acidic fruits or vegetables (like garlic, onion or citrus), and are very low in fat and calories as well.  See... who says you have to eat bland, boring food when you eat healthy!

Relationship Advice from a Single Woman....

We as women are funny, funny creatures.  We strive for independence and thrive on being individuals.  And yet, for some inexplicable reason, almost all of us almost always sacrifice every bit of that, or at least most of that, for the man we love.  This may seem like a good thing to do, and it certainly comes naturally and usually completely inadvertently for us, however, it’s actually one of our weaknesses.  When we sacrifice our individual interests and desires simply because they differ from the man’s whom we have chosen to completely wrap ourselves around, it eventually breeds resentment within us, and in the long run, can often become the very cause of the “breakup”.

As an example, I have a friend who’s musical taste changes based upon the musical genre preferences of the man she happens to be dating at that time.  I have another friend who absolutely loves chic flicks, but never watches them because she knows her man doesn’t like them, so they only watch what he wants to watch.  Some women love to exercise, but wind up with guys who prefer to play video games all day, so they give up that interest in order to be near to and spend more time with their man.  In my past, I’ve found myself not going to church, which is something I really want to do for me and my children, because the man I am dating at the time does not like going.  I've also known women who were single moms, and started dating a man who was not fond of children, consequently, neglecting the kids for their man.  Not good!  Just a few examples, but there are many, many more that come to mind.

I know the guys we love appreciate the fact that we want to do what they want to do and take an interest in their interests, but I don’t think that they really desire us to give up every single thing we love, just because it does not fit their lifestyle, or past experience.  If they do, then hello red flag!  Run, he’s a control-freak.  No, the guys worth keeping, I believe, want us to have our own individuality and even respect us for it.  Just as we respect them for theirs.  A girl worth keeping is not a passive pushover with no opinions.  A girl worth keeping is not a doormat.  Same goes for the guys worth keeping.  Both sexes should mutually respect the other, and not try to control the other.  Both sexes should encourage each other in their separate hobbies and likes.

I do feel it is extremely important to have at least some, even if only just a few, mutual interests and activities.  This builds the bond between you both, and creates opportunities to spend time together.  If there is not one single thing in common, then that is also problem.  If you find yourself in a relationship in which you feel you have no compatibility, before giving up, try to create compatibility by creating common interests.  Come up with ideas that you both enjoy, whether it be playing pool, gardening, hiking, traveling, cooking, playing musical instruments, etc, etc, etc.  There are so many things you can do, even new things you have not previously tried apart from each other, that just might bring you closer together.

Ladies, please don’t hear me wrong.  I’m not saying it’s bad for us to adopt new interests, based on our partners.  That’s one of the ways we show them we love them.  And you never know, the new interest he has introduced you to can sometimes become one your favorite things as well.  When we take an interest in the things they enjoy, it shows them we genuinely care about them.   Please don't be confused... what I’m saying is, you CAN go too far with that.  Find the happy medium between doing the things HE loves, and doing the things YOU love.  Don’t ever sacrifice 100% of your desires, passions and dreams for a man , or mark my words, you will wind up blaming him for it.  If you don’t consciously NOT do that, you will lose both yourself AND your man.

So, I guess I’m saying (in all my wisdom about relationships... HA!), Girls:  it’s ultra important to maintain your sense of self, who you are, and what you love.  Yes, love your man and do things he loves with him, but don’t sacrifice every thing that you love.  It neither has to be all his way, nor all yours.  I can be a pleasant mixture of both.  Happy medium. This will help build a healthy respect, a balanced relationship, and well-rounded conversation.   Guys:  Be aware when your girl seems to only want to do the stuff you’ve made it very clear that you want to do.  She just may be subconsciously losing herself, and in time, it could be detrimental to your relationship.  Encourage her to express her feelings about her separate interests (actively seeking to learn about what she loves is a huge way to make her feel loved), and then don’t complain when she wants to do those things sometimes.  Again, happy medium.  Encourage each other to be individuals... this will cause you to be stronger as a couple.  These things are not the key to a healthy relationship, but they will definitely help to promote one.  Commitment, strong communication, mutual respect, affection, truly listening, kindness, generosity, recognizing when to compromise, refraining from insulting, looking for opportunities to love and spoil each other, etc. are also a few of the imperative things in creating an atmosphere of love.

Just a few of my thoughts on relationships.  Lord knows I’m quite the expert.  ...learning the hard way is still learning!  ;-)

Hideaway Dreams

...So much to feel.
Too much to say.
Maybe I’ll pray for a hideaway,

Where the hurt can heal,
And all the pesky wishes can fade.
And I can finally learn how to meditate.

There, no one will see
The fractured life
That clutters up my cluttered mind;

Preventing the welcome breeze
From blowing nigh,
To wisp away these whispering lies.

Where tranquility and Zen
Exist only, and diffuse all the flame.
Where chaos has no name.

Where it’s just Him...
My guest only. No harbored blame;
No intruding, shadows of shame.

And sweet slumber comes.
Oh, how I yearn to dream
A happy, mesmeric string of dreams...

Not the dark ones
That flood my screen.
And cause me to awaken to the sound of my own scream.

I’ll steal a moment
From my surging day,
And take that time to look up and pray,

I’ll ask and own it,
(I guess they call it faith)
That I’ll seek and find my hideaway.