Sunday, May 15, 2011


When the mega-storm hit,
I ran into Your arms.
I was in shock.
I had nowhere else to go.
You were the only place I felt safe.
I nestled into Your comforting embrace.
I was un-whole.
Irreparably injured.
Mortally wounded.
And you mourned with me.
You cried with me.
You held my heart.
Then there were days when I felt
Maybe I'd be okay.
Maybe I'd be stronger.
And healing began.
I sensed Your presence and Your love
In the initial aftermath,
But I'm having difficulty feeling those things
Have you gone?
Have I?
Sometimes when I'm wandering around
In bewilderment and doubt,
I think that I hear You whispering.
Soft words.
Love words.
Am I just too numb
To crawl back into Your arms?
I know I have shut out the world,
But is it possible that I am even
Shutting out the One who holds my scars,
And looks upon them as if
They are beautiful?
You are there, aren't You?
Arms outstretched,
Awaiting my return.
Patiently waiting for me to
Rest beneath Your sheltering wings.
I wish I could go back...
Back to the way things were
Before it hit.
The knowledge of how futile that wish is
Is causing me to feel like I'm sinking.
Please, pull me out.
I still trust You.
Only You.
My strength is very weak.
I cannot hold on very tightly.
I'm weary.
This sorrow just won't seem to lift.
I really need You.
Hold on
To me.

Monday, May 09, 2011

"Fools Gold"

I constructed a mountain to keep out the thieves.
I lived there in solace, with height as my peace.
Faith was the rock upon which I built.
Strength was my comfort. I'd pureness and will.
And then in the light of a warm, placid day,
A wanderer saw and said, "I'll climb today."
Though try as he did, whisp'ring soft, "I love you's",
My mount, unpersuaded, just would not be used.
It was but a fortress that safe-housed my gold,
which would not be borrowed and would not be sold.
This wanderer told me, "I do understand...
I'll respect your barrier, and protect your land."
And in time this wanderer wore down my guard,
So I fell asleep, and I fell asleep hard,
So thankful for one who at last understood.
I let myself rest. And I dreamt it was good.
He whispered, "Your mountain is precious to me...
I give you my word, I'll stand guard as you sleep."
And then in the quiet of senseless slumber,
A thief in the night, the charming wanderer,
At once seized the moment. He'd finally a chance,
While I was defenseless, to trespass my land,
And explore all it's glory and treasures within.
He uncovered the cave & he wandered right in.
With no one to blockade his self-centered greed,
He sought out the treasure, and with burning need,
He stole what was not his, with not a thought.
He made hasty retreat, hoping he'd not get caught.
I awoke in a panic, although still dark and night,
Knowing something was missing and all was not right.
I got up and found him at my mountain's base.
He spoke not a word, and was solemn of face.
No look in my eyes, no goodbye, he just left.
I could not comprehend, although I tried my best.
At once in the daylight it all became clear.
I went to my cave and I found he'd been there.
And where there was once gold, a great cavern lay.
Where once was a treasure, blood pooled in it's place.
I was deeply in shock. I thought him different.
I assumed he'd protect me. How I did lament!
Temptations to give up weren't far from my mind.
Yet thoughts of surrender, I just could not find.
I'd venture away from my safe haven now.
I'd not be a victim. I'd climb down this mount.
I'd commission search parties to find stolen gold.
It was not his to have. It was not his to hold.
And in time he'll realize all that he's done.
It will be too late, for the gold is long gone.
He sends letters to me from far away lands:
"I still want your heart. I still want your hand."
But soft words can't undo the harshness of theft.
His mission, to conquer. Deep loss was his gift.
Respond not, I've chosen, for he is a fraud.
He can hide from himself, but he can't hide from God.
Seeking shelter in shadows, he lives on the run.
I pray soon he will be exposed by the sun.
Recovering property is not my goal.
It's justice I want, and to defend others' gold.
My treasure is gone and cannot be reclaimed,
But I do know his face and I do know his name.
And I will not rest until others are safe
From his alluring deception and believable face.
And though this has cost me almost everything,
I'll mourn not my losses. I've reason to sing,
For I know, thank God, my most valued treasure
Lay hidden. I gave not. Of that, I am sure.