Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Lemons & Peace

I wrote a blogpost yesterday which was rather melancholy. It is so easy to get wrapped up in self-pity when life throws barrels full of lemons at you (see, there I go again). But, this morning's read brought clarity. I read it just a bit ago, after dropping the kids off at school. I definitely want to share it with you, but would like to tell you how my morning went up to that point...

I went to bed stewing in stress over all the major challenges, trials and painful circumstances I have before me at this point in my life. I was exhausted in every way. I awoke at 4:30am, wide awake and feeling a deep sense of peace. This was very out of the ordinary for me. So I laid in bed praying for a bit, with a thankful spirit.

I heard Caleb calling me about 15 minutes later. He'd had a nightmare. I went in his room and cuddled next to him in his bed and prayed with him for rest and peace. After an hour, he fell back to sleep. Our dog, Rain, took my spot on his bed and slept next to him. Caleb looked peaceful. I crawled back into my own bed at 5:15, hoping to catch at least a wink of sleep before having to start my day. Nope. Wasn't gonna happen. I laid there much too awake. For those that know me well, you know I'm not much of a morning person, so again, this was out of the ordinary.

Then Bre's alarm goes off at 5:30. She's way tired, so she decides to come crawl in next to me. Also, her alarm scared the crap out of her: it was set to Air 1, and the 5 seconds of the song that was playing when the alarm went off (just before she shot straight out of bed and shut it off) was, "...and they unfold like flowers before You...". I told Bre that was a pretty line to wake up to, but she said all she heard was, "SCAREY, SCREAMING MONSTER...for you". Got a good chuckle outta that one, sorry Bre. Anyway, so I snuggled with her for a while. We got up shortly after 6:00.

All 4 of us were in great moods this morning. All 3 kids got ready early and helped me pack their lunches. I made a big, yummy breakfast. We ate, hugged, played with the dog, let the dog have our leftovers, giggled and just had a fun, family morning. No grumpies nor groggies, just peace. I dropped the kids off at school 15 minutes early, which nearly never happens, and on the way there, we discussed how this feels like a really blessed day. It was good. We all needed that.

Then... I come home and read today's read from "Jesus Calling". This is what it said:

"Let Me infuse My Peace into your innermost being. As you sit quietly in the Light of My Presence, you can sense Peace growing within you. This is not something that you accomplish through self-discipline and willpower; it is opening yourself to receive My blessing. ....In this age of independence, people find it hard to acknowledge their neediness. However, I have taken you along a path that has highlighted your need for Me; placing you in situations where your strengths were irrelevant and your weaknesses were glaringly evident. Through the aridity of those desert marches, I have drawn you closer and closer to Myself. You have discovered flowers of Peace blossoming in the most desolate places. You have learned to thank Me for hard times and difficult journeys, trusting that through them I accomplish My best work. You have realized that needing Me is the key to knowing Me intimately, which is the gift above all gifts.

Isaiah 58:11, "The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail."

Isaiah 40:11, "He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young."

...........so good! So pertinent. It did bring some clarity, in light of yesterday's pity-fest. I'm so thankful to have a God who I know and trust will take care of me and my children. I'm choosing to place all my faith in Him, despite not always being able to see that end of tunnel light. I'm going to watch while He makes barrels of lemonade out of all these lemons; enough for me to be able to share with many.

Thanks so much to those who are praying for us. Love to all.


Monday, November 28, 2011


I just laid out the lyrics and piano part for this song. I have had an intensely stressful morning... unfortunately, one of many, as of late. Have you ever had so much anxiety and stress in your life, that you find it hard to even pray? Isn't that when we should be reaching out to God the most? I'll tell you, it really took a conscious effort for me to do so this morning. I did find the strength to ask God for some guidance in my present trials, and the only answer I got was "Rest". Kinda hard to do that, God! But "rest" and "shelter" and "wings" kept filling my mind, and I felt compelled to write a song, instead of wallowing in worry. It's a slow, soulful song. No chorus. No bridge. Just instrumentals in between verses. Key of F/Dm.


I need shelter from this storm.
I need my faith to be restored.
I wish I trusted You more.
I wish I needed less, Dear Lord.

I fear I'll somehow miss the sound
Of mercy's call, as my fears drown it out.
All these needs and fears weigh me down.
Draw me into faith and out of doubt.

There is rest beneath the wings of hope.
Shelter me, so I am not alone.
I will wait until the clouds have gone.
Carry me from darkness to dawn.


God showed me a scripture verse just now. Psalm 57:1, "Be merciful to me, God, be merciful to me, for my soul takes refuge in you. Yes, in the shadow of your wings, I will take refuge, until disaster has passed." (World English Bible translation). I'd say it was my inspiration for writing this, except I came upon it after having written the song. I think God's trying to tell me something...

Saturday, November 05, 2011

The Sea of Great Despair

"The Sea of Great Despair"

She is underneath the water,

She is running short on air;

She's engulfed in black abysm,

All encompassed by her fear.

Many monsters slither ‘round her,

Hidden by the dark and dense.

She is tangled up in panic,

Thrashing hard without defense.

This survivor who has never

Given up under duress

Is depleted. She is drowning.

She succumbs to helplessness.

Hope slips from her grasp into

The Sea of Great Despair.

She descends into oblivion.

Solitary. Sinking. Scared.

Then, through the darkest portent;

Through pursuing cold, wet gloom,

There’s a whispering: “Look upward

When you’re unsure what to do.”

This soft murmur from within her

Somehow quells her gurgling screams.

Her body stills. Her mind clears.

For a moment, she can think.

So, she forces her eyes open,

And compelled, pulls up her gaze.

She is met with such a vision,

Hope comes rushing back in waves.

For ahead, through murky waters,

Glorious rays of light reach down;

Like angelic arms of mercy,

Showing her that she'll not drown.

Though quite weak, she kicks and rises.

She ascends, steady and slow.

The travail will not be easy.

She has boundless leagues to go.

With determination mounting,

Eyes fixated on a dream,

She proceeds and strains for higher,

To emerge from this grim sea.

How that sparkling surface beckons,

Hailing glimmering relief.

Mindfully, she’ll not look downward.

Very soon she’ll get to breathe.

Stubbornly, she pushes onward.

She’ll not rest until she’s out.

Those cascading beams of promise

Pierce the dark and purge the doubt.