"Seven Months"

Time’s gone by,

And still we’re here;

Best friends like always, Love.

One thing I know:

You’re nothing but

A gift from God above.

And every day

I thank him for

The friend I’ve found in you.

You are different from the rest.

You are a dream come true.

And through hard times

We still can say

One thing that has not changed:

We are best friends,

We still have love,

And these two will remain.

I love you.

Kutless - "Winds of Change"

“WINDS OF CHANGE”

By Kutless

Can you feel the pains in life?
Wrapped around you like they're chains
Restricting all your dreams
Do you wonder if there is a way?
A way to set you free
Set you free

So tell me all your dreams
Tell me all your fears and what you're longing for the most
It's not another way
That'll end up the same for it's under my control

Do you feel the winds of change?
Soon this weight will fall away
And take you to a place
Only found through these winds of change
A breeze that's new and free
New and free

So tell me all your dreams
Tell me all your fears and what you're longing for the most
It's not another way
That'll end up the same for it's under my control

I'll be the one who you can cry to
The one who will give you wings
I will give you wings

Someday we'll sail away
Mounted up on wings like eagles
We will run and will not fade away

So tell me all your dreams
Tell me all your fears and what you're longing for the most
It's not another way
That'll end up the same for it's under my control

I'll be the one who you can cry to
The one who will give you wings
I will give you wings

The one who will give you wings
I will give you wings
To set you free
The one who will give you wings

"Dreams"

Maybe I knew it would end up this way
Because I could see to your heart
I saw all the walls that would not go away
I saw how they ripped me apart
I hoped beyond hope that I could tear them down
Exposing what you would not feel
We were always together each night in my dreams
I prayed that the dreams would be real
But when I awoke, Reality crushed
My poor pathetic facade
And showed me that we have let each other down
By not just embracing this love
I wanted it so. I tried very hard
But always I felt so alone
And so I let go, so you could move on
And maybe our hearts could find home.
If not in each other, then I don't know where
I can't even think like that now
All that I know, is I foresaw this day
Now I wish I could end it somehow.
And go back in time, and take back the things
We never intended to say
And choose to be real and choose to just trust
And choose to let walls fall away
But what's done is done. We must look ahead.
I know that we'll always be friends.
This unexplained love will not fade with time
For love always wins in the end.

"Friends"

I know I said I loved you.

I still can say it’s true,

But I can also say that

I am not meant for you.

You and I are different

In the ways of love,

And so I bid you farewell,

And thank our God above

For giving me the chance to

Learn and love and grow,

And I am sure you’ll move on.

It won’t take long, I know.

You, my friend, are special,

And I will always be

One who truly cares so;

Much more than you could see.

So if you need me call me,

And you know I’ll be there.

I’m so glad we are friends.

Please always know I care.

"That Which Will End"

We spend so much time

Running from life…

Finding ways to escape it;

When all we really should be doing

Is living it.

Embracing it.

How can one become aware

Of this agonizing reality,

And yet be unable

To evade it?

How can one find a way

To want to be alive…

I never see the road ahead,

Nor any of us;

And yet we run

With reckless adandon

Into the unknown:

Inevitable loss.

Why?

Why does love become

The pursuit of all we are?

Why does passion consume

And change us so?

So I drown myself

In things which distract

And numb the ache of life.

And I tell myself

It is possible

To live without love,

And be truly alive.

And I inhale deeply

A brave sort of breath,

And I know that I’ll be

Just fine.

Alone.

Alive.

Then the phone rings,

And all at once

All of my courage

Is flushed from my heart,

And replaced by a love

Which devours.

And all of my dreams,

And all my desire

And hope become

Only love.

And life becomes,

Once again,

The painful pursuit

Of that which will

End.

A prayer/song

....life seems to go in cycles. I wrote this song almost exactly 6 years ago. It came to my mind as I was praying this morning. It seems to fit where I am at again.

"All That I Hold Dear"

Wisdom, pain and pride accompanied by

Insecurity and double-eyes.

These are qualities that compile my life;

This is who I am and why I cry.

Yesterday is gone; I can’t erase it.

Bad decisions plague my little life.

All I want to do is make decisions

That fill me with respect and You with pride.

So make me into somebody bigger

Than who I see in this fun-house mirror.

Take me and all that is within me,

And make me make You all that I hold dear.

Self-esteem and wisdom tempered by

Kindness, patience and gentle, humble eyes;

A heart that seeks to serve and not to get praise,

This is what I’m seeking in my life.

And so I pray for more of You inside me.

So I scream and yearn to know Your peace.

Every day will be a growing, learning

Experience of becoming less like me.

Make me into somebody bigger

Than who I see in this fun-house mirror.

Take me and all this is within me,

And make me make You all that I hold dear.

Jesus, you are all that I hold dear.

"Certain"

There are certain things

That cannot be explained

Like true forgiveness

And unconditional love

There are certain things

That cannot be acquired

Like true forgiveness

And unconditional love

But when they are offered

Of a willing heart

There are certain things

That cannot be denied

And logic can tell you

It does not make sense

But when they are present

They cannot be denied

I knew when I met you

The road would be rough

I knew when I saw you

That you were more tough

Than all of the walls

I pretended to build

When deep down I knew

My heart felt fulfilled

Your friendship has shown me

That I’m not alone

The love that you offer

Makes my heart feel home

And though there are times that

The trials seem so great

They cannot compare to

The love that we make

It’s nothing we’ve tried to

Create or imply

It’s simply just something

That we can’t deny

And so I am grateful

In spite of the walls

They do not define us

They don’t let us fall

But somehow deep down

We both know that it’s true

You do love me

And I do love you

Though we can’t explain it

This love is engrained

Upon both our hearts

Both through sunshine and rain

And I will not fight it

I have made my choice

Though I can’t define it

I do have a voice

And so I am screaming

With all of my might

I love you and I will

Not stop ‘til I die.

"What Do You Feel?"

What do you feel

When you think of me?

Do you ever look at me and see forever?

What do you dream

When you drift to sleep?

Do you dream happy dreams of me ever?

What fuels your fire

On days missing that spark?

Do you picture my face and smile?

Do you ever start humming

Songs you don’t mean to

And find yourself lost for a while?

Do you ever drift off

Lost in your thoughts

And realize you are just missing me?

Do love songs invade

That space in your heart

And you find yourself starting to sing?

Do you wonder sometimes

Why you don’t just say

The things on the tip of your tongue?

What do you feel

When you think of me?

Do you feel complete or undone?

"Fantasies"

I look at you

And see the things

I used to run hard from

I look at you

And dream the dreams

That leave my heart undone

And in your eyes

I see the key

That causes chains to fall

And softness dawns

Upon my heart

And melts these tired walls

When you touch me

The doubting fades

I find myself transformed

From one who hid

And one who feared

I won’t run anymore

I am falling

Into this

And I am happy to

Look at you

And know you see

That I’m in love with you.

Sometimes I still

Find myself here

Thinking of what ifs

But destiny

Is urging me

To throw myself into this

So everything

I have to give

I’m going to give to you

Because, my love,

You’re teaching me

That fantasies can come true.

A Melancholy Reverie

A child

Remembers things

In distorted perceptions,

With naive scrutiny;

Oft’ in exaggerated hues

And abstract shapes.

Reality is ceaselessly muddled

By grow-up eyes.

I perceive things now

Not like I did back then,

When I thought my speculations

To be solid expectations;

However, my tomorrow

Has proven to be unfamiliar,

Cruelly misshapen,

And foreign to my

Juvenile perspective.

I yearn to find

That vantage point

I once possessed.

I wish to close my eyes

And be back there again;

To reminisce…

To hope. To crave. To aspire.

But vague dreams haunt

My factual existence,

And I awake from this reverie

And become despondently aware

That I have not.

Humble Thoughts

Sometimes the best offense is the absence of defense. Sometimes the only way to win is to accept that you may lose. A wise warrior knows there is a time and place for peace, and he stands down. Sometimes the best way to communicate is to be silent. Sometimes God speaks to us when we are not listening so hard for His voice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Pride"

Pride

please go away

And leave me here to cry

Take

the numb away

Let the loss flood my eyes

Sick

Of who I am

And who I fight to be

All

I need is to

Let go and to be me.

God

I need you now

I can’t fight anymore

Rest

Is what I need

Please tow me to the shore

Life

Is only what

I’ve made it out to be

Heal

My hardened heart

And set my spirit free

Pride

I’m letting go

And welcoming the risk

Raw

Is what I choose

I will not run from this

Peace

It suddenly

Washed over me just now

Fight

Has left my heart

I’ll be okay, somehow

Time

Can heal so much

Although it's hard to see

Loss

Is often what

Will bring humility

This

Is not my battle

Armor’s on the ground

Now

I see so clear,

It’s pride that I’ve laid down

Things I love about you...

You take risks

You don’t let your fears win

You feel deeply

You are aware

You are strong

You find humor in small things

You smile easily

You laugh freely

You aren’t afraid to cry

You are passionate

You are intuitive

You dream big

You accept life as it comes

You listen

You are a wonderful father

You know how to be a friend

You love the Lord

You are playful

You are deep

You have the best lips ever

Your eyes tell secrets

Your heart is soft, deep down

You are creative

You are independent

You allow yourself to need me

You are strong-willed

You know how to be patient

You are super-intelligent

You are confident

You inspire me