Monday, October 25, 2010

My own, personal Revival

I went to church for the first time in months yesterday. I literally had to force myself to go, because the same thing that seems to happen every Sunday morning that I try to go happened... I get tired, or don't feel well, or see all the housework that needs to be done, or feel like relaxing, or get a phone call, or the kids won't cooperate (though they were out of town this weekend), or I can't find anything to wear.... Oh wait, now I'm gonna be late... I can't walk in late, they'll be no seats left available....

But yeah, thanks to God kickin me in the butt and getting me there, I actually made it. Boy, was I glad I did!!!! Went to Bethel. Late, of course, so I sat in the overflow room. I usually like in better in there anyway, as my chances of being accosted by a prophet, yelled at in tongues, or have hands laid on me by 16 charismatic strangers is much less. Anyway, I'm humbled and thankful for the experience, as something quite out of character for me happened.

One of the Pastors asked us all to lay hands on the person next to us if we feel they needed praying for healing and breakthrough in their life. I cringed for a moment, but was suddenly relieved that I was sitting at the end of a row, and no one was within a few seats of me. Whew! Can you tell that's a teensy bit out of my comfort zone? So, I then bow my head to pray, and I begin my prayer with, "I need you, God. Holy Spirit, come.". Suddenly, I feel hands touching me from somewhere behind me... One on my right shoulder/neck area and one on my left shoulder/arm. Something very unexpected happened... I began to shake a little, and then unexpectedly began to weep. I could hear people all around me praying for one another, mostly in tongues. But the prayers coming from behind me were different. I heard 2 mens voices. Theye were soft, gentle, concise. They were saying, "Father, heal her heart. Show her Your will for her life. Lead her to breakthrough. Grant her peace.". And then everything disappeared. I saw nothing, heard nothing, and felt no one touching me. It was quiet and light and warm in God's presence, and I felt Him hugging my soul........

I stayed in that place for what was probably a few minutes, but felt like longer. When I came back, I was still in the overflow room, standing with my head bowed and eyes closed; tears streaming. Prayer time ended. A sweet, lovely, young girl came up to me, gave me a hug & offered me a tissue. I turned around slightly to see who was behind me, but saw no one. I guess the praying men had left. I felt such an amazing sense of.... Just calm. Serene. Peace. Loved.

Thanks, God, for ripping me out of my comfort zone! Wow... And thanks to the two praying men.... Thanks so much.

Then Pastor Bill Johnson began to speak. The message was powerful and meaty. I've never heard that man preach a single sermon that left me unchanged. He's got God's power in His ability to communicate, let me tell you! One thing he said today hit home really hard. I mean, like, upside the head with a baseball bat kinda hard. It was this:

Revival comes when there is a sacrifice which has been laid upon an alter, and God sends His fire down from Heaven. Revival will not stop until that sacrifice has been removed. God never stops a revival, man does. Who removes the sacrifice? What IS the sacrifice??? is you. It is me. Are we not to be a "living sacrifice"? Or was that not what you signed up for?"


I feel humbled, blessed, happy and whole. My life is not my own. It's His. Time to become a living sacrifice before God, so He can truly begin to work in me and through me. I know once I'm there, truly there, my life won't always feel like it's missing something.

These thoughts woke me up an hour ago, so I felt I needed to share.


Saturday, October 23, 2010

"It's Okay To Let Go"

...First song I've written in almost a year! Feels so good to be able to write again. It's a simple tune, written in the key of F, and given to me by the Great Healer.


Letting go may not be easy.
It hurts to think that it's for good.
Choices to make... How things get hazy
When we don't make the ones we should.

But Love
Is here with you.
It was.
Always will be.

And God, He wants you to know
It's okay to let go.

Earnest prayers, they surround you.
Rest assured you're not alone.
There is One who heals forsaken hearts.
His Love can make the broken, whole.

And Love
Is here with you.
It was.
Always will be.

Though time may not heal all wounds,
Your Father God will carry you.
Give HIM your heart.
He'll make it new.


The sky is shedding therapy.
God knew.
He has spread wide the floodgates of the heavens.
He has demolished a dam in my soul.
Painful, awakening, cleansing, blissful
Fall and fall and fall on me
Until these feelings
Wash away,
And I am clean and free again,
To live with passion,
To love with wisdom;
And grow like a brand new, brightly colored tulip,
Eager to experience warmth and light.
I must greet this storm with openness.
Soon I will be new. Beautiful. Strong.
The sun will shine again.
But for today,
I will surrender to