"You Would Rather Be Wrong"

I would’ve given you everything.

You, you gave me a song to sing.

But now, I am singing a different song,

Cuz’ you would rather be wrong.

You would rather be wrong.

Pieces of a battered heart

Are all I hold here in the dark.

Alone, but never broken.

You’ll regret the words you left unspoken.

You’ll regret those words.

Tomorrow is a memory

Of all the dreams I had for you and me.

The funny thing is I know you dreamed them too,

But your heart is all about you.

Your love is only for you.

Someday when your heart wakes up

You will want to call me up,

But I will have moved on,

Cuz’ you would rather be wrong.

You would rather be wrong,

And free.

You’re so free.

Incomplete…

But free.

"You are a Gift"

You, I thought, were the one.

You, I thought, came along

To give me all that I needed.

I didn’t need what I thought.

You came to me unexpectedly.

You taught me how to be free

To learn to love myself and not to lean

On somebody else to make me me.

I am sorry for the way I took,

When you didn’t have much to give.

But still you stayed by me just like a friend,

So I’ll stand by you to the end.

Thank you for loving me.

Thank you giving me

A reason to trust, and so much to love.

You, my friend, are a gift from God above.

Sometimes I’d cry wondering

Why we couldn’t be more than friends.

Answers come in time. Sometimes they

Aren’t the ones for which we pray.

God knows what’s best when I don’t

I’m beginning to trust His will.

I am letting go, but not of you,

Only of the love we weren’t meant to… feel.

Thank you for loving me.

Thank you giving me

A reason to trust, and so much to love.

You, my friend, are a gift from God above.

~~~~~~~~

I know I have made this disclaimer before.... the songs don't have good meter because they are not poetry.... they are written set to music, and actually do flow rhythmically.... it just doesn't seem that way when you READ them.

Ummm...... I was really thinking about not posting this one. There are so many I don't post (and so many I wish I didn't post) because they are TOO raw or open or humbling or make me feel vulnerable... blah blah blah. But then I realized... maybe there are other people out there going through the same things..... having the same questions and feelings. And maybe something God has revealed to me through a song might be of enlightenment to someone who stumbles upon my blog. Most of what I write is for self-therapy and a personal outlet. But hey, maybe it can inspire someone or challenge them. If my fumbling attempts at expressing my emotion through writing make someone FEEL, they're worth sharing. I will make myself vulnerable and reveal my deeper emotions every time, if can potentially be a help to someone else.

"Father of Lies"

Verse 1:

You lie to me

You drag me down

You tell me I’m not good enough

You’re everything

I hate about myself

I cannot hide

The fact that I

Fall into your trap sometimes

But now the Light

Exposes you so well

Chorus:

Greater is He

Who is in me

Than you, father of lies!

I won’t be deceived

And I will not fear

For I know the Way, Truth and Life..

And I believe.

Verse 2:

I’m on my way

Away from all

These chains that bind me down

I’m feeling hopeful

Feeling strong

And you cannot turn me around

Chorus:

Greater is He

Who is in me

Than you, father of lies!

I won’t be deceived

And I will not fear

For I know the Way, Truth and Life..

And I believe.

"Try"

Verse 1:

I never knew what it would be like

But this is not quite how I pictured life

I always thought love would be different

That’s what I get for thinkin’.

Since you came along I have been surprised

You are so much more than I’d dreamed I’d find

But you are not ready for love like mine

That’s what I get for dreamin’.

Chorus:

Why can’t you just give in

To what we have. It’s everything

We could ask, and we could last,

So try.

Verse 2:

But somehow I never do give up on

You, cuz’ I think you could be the one

Who changes my dreams right before my eyes

That’s what I get for givin’.

Instrumental Bridge...

I promise you that through rain and shine

I’ll wait with you til’ the clouds roll by

But for now alone in love I’ll cry

That’s what I get for lovin’.

Chorus:

Why can’t you just give in

To what we have. It’s everything

We could ask, and we could last,

So try. Just try.

"Fear Nothing"

I see the depth inside your soul

That speaks beyond the words

You hide behind.

I see the sunrise in your hopes,

As you hold on to night

And cling to the darkness,

As if it is all you’ve ever known

Or wanted.

But somewhere far away

A whisper is heard in the stillness,

And a soft wind begins to blow

…Change.

It caresses your face gently,

And you desperately seek to slow down

And bask in the warmth of it’s freedom.

Instead, you turn and walk away,

Back into the arms of nothing,

Where all is familiar

And the façade of safety envelops you

In it’s empty embrace.

You fear nothing…

But love.

~~~~~~~~~~

Here are some of my thoughts on relationships...

It has been said that in order to know love, you must first surrender to it. I agree. Why do we fight the things we want most in life? It reminds me of Paul's raw confession in Romans 7, when he wrote, "The things I DON'T want to do, I do! And the things I want to do more than anything, I don't do! Why?!" It's the age old war of flesh against spirit. It's the result of our natural inclination as fallen creatures to embrace self-destructive tendencies (i.e.: putting up walls, shutting down feelings, allowing ourselves to be self-centered), and shun the unfamiliar and frightening act of trust. I think it's so hard to trust another human, because we have all experienced let down. Humans are fallible and unpredictable. But God is not. And a relationship with God at it's base, as the very foundation of that love... has a much better chance at success! With God ALL things are possible! (Phil 4:13).... even lasting love. He can create beauty from ashes, I have seen it done. The key is to trust in the LORD with all of your heart, leaning NOT on your own understanding (Prov. 3:5&6). God knows what is best for us, where we do not. And when it comes to matters of love and trust, I believe that is the perfect time to lay those burdens and fears down at His feet, and see what miracles He can work in your heart and life! If you want nothing but His will, He will show it to you. Just ask (Psalm 37:4&5). And if He reveals His will to you when it comes to matters of relationships, don't run from it! Trust HIM, and let go of trying to control it yourself. It's only in letting go that security can come. He promises prosperity to us, even in relationships, if we will only trust in Him claim it (Pslam 84:14). Do not allow fear to be your guide. Perfect Love casts out fear (I John 4:18).

Geez!!! Where did that sermonette come from???? LOL

"The Traveler and The Mountain"

A rock of mass proportion…

A mountain none could climb.

Many a sojourner had attempted,

And left broken,

Hanging their heads in defeat;

Leaving the mountain to stand

Alone, as ever.

The mountain and I had that in common…

We were both uncommonly alone.

One day as I was traversing in solitude,

Searching for challenge and change;

The rock beckoned to me,

As if yearning for my tenacious efforts:

My stubborn will to succeed.

I hesitated for only a moment

Before humbling myself to the challenge.

At once, something frightening and strange

Began to occur…

It grew.

Changed.

Jagged rocks began to form.

Cliffs begin to rise higher.

The mountain’s peak became all but lost

In the dark clouds above,

And suddenly I looked so small

Next to this dark fortress.

The rock appeared to me cold,

Defensive, quiet.

So dark and lovely. So Foreboding.

So firm.

Daring me… sneering;

Whispering ominous words of warning and want.

I was intimidated, but unafraid.

I resolutely made my way to its base.

But as I grew closer, I noticed something

That caught me by surprise…

Out of a deep crevice

Grew a solitary, tiny, blue flower.

It was a Morning Glory… delicate, perfect and alone.

Untouched and unnoticed.

Growing silently:

So contrastingly majestic

Against its granite backdrop.

It was as if the life deep within this massive structure

Was yearning to break free,

And I had stumbled upon the crack in the armor.

Maybe that’s why the mountain had called to me…

Maybe I was destined to see, and to know

What none other could.

I caught one brief glimpse of the flower’s soft glory,

And suddenly the mountain didn’t seem so large to me.

The fragile stem and gentle petals

Swayed in the cool breeze,

And I was captivated:

Blinded to the obvious.

I felt overjoyed to know that even amongst

Darkness and defeat,

There was life;

A semblance of hope.

I had no desire to pick the flower.

I had lost my will to climb the mountain.

I only wanted to turn and walk away…

Not in defeat,

Rather knowing I had conquered

The rock

In a way no one had or ever would again.

The lesson I learned was worth

The long journey home

Alone.