I had this one about two weeks ago. It hit me powerfully and unexpectedly.
(Start)
I was surrounded with shades of black and gray. I was praying and weeping. I felt so alone, even though I knew this is not the Truth. I told God, "Sometimes I feel like I am so alone in this world! I am an alien and stranger, here! No one gets me, but You. Few use their free will and time wisely, including me. This world is so broken and backwards. The modern Church is so asleep, spiritually. I feel I am alone in this battle and quest for righteousness that is lived out in spite of circumstance. No one truly lives Love, God! Is there anyone out there who understands Your heart? I weep for you, God. I weep for me. I am alone, here, except for You."
I told God that even though I feel alone, I will fight with all my might to grow in Faith, obedience and mad love for Jesus. I told Him I would continue to praise and worship Him, even if I was the only one on Earth doing so. I wept. I buried my face in my hands and thanked Him for even the trials, because I trust Him to use ALL things for my good. I asked God for reprieve from heartache. I begged Him. I was on my knees, hunched over to the ground, face and tears covered with my hands, resolving myself to this spiritual solitude.
As I lay like this, curled in a ball, I suddenly saw a cross, eyes closed. It was a shadow, at first. It began to come into my mind's eye more clearly, and it was huge!! Massive. I felt God was reminding me of Jesus' ultimate act of Love for me. I saw myself weeping at the foot of the cross. I was reaching my arms and eyes up to the Heavens above before the giant cross which was now illuminated, somehow. The sky was dark with endless, billowing, angry clouds. Behind me was a vast, heavy blackness. I wanted to climb it desperately. I wanted to escape the heavy, black abyss behind me. I wanted desperately to climb up the cross, but I couldn't. I was too small. Too weak. So, I resolved myself to worship in solitude.
Suddenly, peace washed over me like a wave of extreme energy and calm, all at once! I felt God speak to my heart in this moment. He told me to look around me. I didn't want to. I wanted to keep worshipping before the giant cross. Rays of light began to shoot out in beams from the cross. This illuminated the darkness on the ground immediately in front of the cross, and not far away, I saw another figure reaching up to the sky and the cross, just like me. I looked to the other side, and saw a figure of a person there, as well. I was shocked that they were there. I hadn't noticed them before. And they hadn't noticed me. I looked beyond them, and saw a line of many people stretching in both directions, all with arms raised to God, like me. All in tears, mourning their solitude.
There was an opening in the dark clouds above the cross. Not a huge opening, but there was the brightest, white light pouring down from the heavens, even more illuminating the cross, and all of us at it's base. The figures were silouettes without detail, as was I. We had human form, but that's all I could see about the people on both sides of me. We became aware of each other. We were all shocked that we were not alone.
The cross instantly became magnetic. It began pulling us in closer to each other. We became a united mass of figures being pulled together close. We began to be pulled upward, up the base of the cross. We swirled up the bottom section of the cross. When we reached the arms of the cross, we were so happy and united in the knowing that God loves us and was pulling us up towards heaven! We turned from dark, faceless figures into actual lights, tons of them, swirling around the base, up the trunk, around the arms up the top. So much light... Beautiful and sparkling. Swirling. A beautiful dance of souls, together in our unconditional love for God.
There was still that endless black emptiness behind us, but we became only focused on the light which was beaming even brighter now through the clouds of the heavens. This was our only focus. The unseen power kept lifting us higher... higher... swirling lights. A beautiful melody was in the air, with multiple voices in harmony, singing a melody of praise. We were rising away from the endless darkness. We were now high above it. We were glimmering. God was pleased with us. There was such togetherness. Such Peace! Joy! Unity! Praise you, God! Thank You!
(End)
I left my prayer time with big Holy Spirit goosebumps. He was speaking to my spirit. I heard (not audibly, but with my spiritual ears), "You are not alone! You already know that I AM always with you, but the time has come for you to become aware that you have brothers and sisters who feel just as alone as you did. This is a quiet, sneaky lie of the prince of darkness. Resist it. It cannot touch you. It can only decieve you. But, I am the Way, Truth and Life. I've come to strengthen you."
We are NOT alone. God is uniting us in our exaltation of Him, and lifting us from the darkness. We are being pulled upwards, together! Rejoice. Revival is near!!!
