"Paint a Masterpiece"

Every new day is
A new chance to win,
A new chance to choose;
A chance to begin...
To change the things that
You are able to change...
To release the norm;
Grasp what once was strange...
To speak the words that
Yesterday left unsaid...
To abandon fear;
Embrace peace instead...
To find a new home in
Quiet gratitude...
To make choices that
Reflect the true you;
The you that is love...
The you that is light...
The you brave enough
To outlast the night.
So, take on this day
With resolve.  Release.
Your canvas is new...
Paint a masterpiece.

~mg~

Spiritual Things

So much of what goes on around us is unseen.  In my personal observation, it seems that most people do not take the time to acknowledge or contemplate the spiritual side of life.  I read that a recent poll showed that under 25% of the population in the U.S. identifies as spiritual in some way (but not religious)  ...less than one in four people in America!  I wonder what the percentage would be for the rest of the world's population? It is mind boggling to me for any being with an intellect not to contemplate such things.  How can any of us even live and breathe without seeing the evidences of God?  A Creator?  The author of Faith and Love and Life?  It is so evident and all around me, that even if I were to attempt to deny it, it would be impossible.  I cannot look at the sky, or a meadow, or a stream or a snowflake without seeing God.  I cannot look into the eyes of a child, hear the rush of an ocean wave or smell the fragrance of the forest without feeling God.  Those evidences are huge, but then add to them the intricate workings of our anatomy, biology as a whole, photosynthesis and reproduction to name just a few.  There are so very many complex and detailed systems within our world that could never be adequately described by osmosis or sufficiently explained away as an accident.  And then what about phenomenons like miracles?! ...Those literal and very personal miracles I experience on a continual and increasing basis  ...Prayer upon prayer upon specific prayer being answered in my life; prayers that seem almost preposterous to even have the audacity to pray, and yet my God answers them!  How can I not think about God and the spiritual on a multiple-times-daily basis?

Life is not just wealth and jobs and friends and fun and however success might possibly be defined.  Life is about so much more than that.  Do those things matter?  Yes, I suppose they do, depending on your personal value system, but they pale in comparison to the bigger picture of what is life.  I see life as made up of four general and somewhat broad parts:  The physical, the mental, the emotional and the spiritual.  I work diligently to keep ALL areas of my life healthy.  Just because something is not tangible or palpable in the present does not mean that it is not.  I guess that is where faith comes in.  And in my personal experience, as I have become more and more in tune with the spiritual me, it is becoming less and less enigmatic, distant and pie-in-the-sky-ish.

My relationship with God is not merely perceived, but is an active knowing.  It is not just a hope.  It does not feel anything like a long-distance relationship with a sweet sounding pipe-dream.  It is not wishful thinking.  It is!  My relationship with God feels more to me like being wrapped in the arms of unconditional love.  It is a yearning to give as much love as I have to give back, and to the best of my human ability (though it pales in comparison to God's capacity to love).  It feels like a warm blanket of security... like breathing in peace... grace incarnate ...truth at it's deepest level.  And it is wonderful.  Beautiful. I am so thankful that I was created as a being who has a spirit, and that God has created within me a desire to understand, embrace and grow that spiritual side of me.  That He loves me.  I am grateful that He has been so patient with me as it has taken quite a while for me to accept His love with all four parts of my being, regardless of the fact that I cannot fully comprehend that Love. I am beyond thankful that God is helping me to finally grasp that there is nothing I can do about it!  Nothing I can do to earn it.  Nothing I can do to ruin or diminish it.  His Love just is.  And it is mine.  It is yours too.  I just hope that you are one out of the four people who realize it.  If not, it is my job to tell you.

Awaken to God's Love.

Change starts with me...

I had a rough morning.  Woke up tired, and not wanting to be awake.  Another morning of making sure the kids get up and showered and dressed and fed and making lunches for them and reminding them about homework and library books and backpacks and please get your shoes and coats on and having to ask them over and over to do these things, and please hurry so we are not late for school.  I was met with some cooperation and some non-cooperation.  I wasn't in the mood to deal with the non-cooperation at all.

I found myself lecturing my kids almost the whole way to school about how I shouldn't have to ask them to do things like "get dressed", but when I do ask, I certainly shouldn't have to ask several times and then threaten to take away a priviledge before they finally get up and move.  I told them I really need them to start being more responsible and respectful and obedient.  But as I heard myself say these things, I thought, "I really sound like a recording set to repeat, because I have said all of this before.  I have pleaded for their help with the house, responsibility, etc.  But nothing changes for very long.  They inevitably resort back to their old ways.  Is it me?  Am I doing something wrong?  Am I not strict enough or consistent enough or am I too hard on them and expect too much?  They are kids after all.  Maybe I need to be a better example... my room isn't clean either right now... I am failing as a mother."  Oh, the negative self-talk I catch myself in!  It sure doesn't help matters.

I drove home upset, and when I got here, I decided I needed to take a few minutes to reflect on the situation and do a little writing.  I am often guilty of seeing what is happening right in front of me, and missing the importance of seeing the bigger picture.  I stopped and asked myself, "What are the things that are most important in life?  They are: God, love, my children, etc.  They are NOT: a perfectly clean house, perfectly obedient children who get straight A's and never forget anything, etc.  And so I started writing a little advice quote to myself.  And it really helped me to take a step back, breathe and refocus.  Here is what I wrote:


Life is brief.
Spend your time
 and energy wisely.
Learn from mistakes,
 and rise above adversity.
Choose to be content,
 but accept the unexpected.
Be continually grateful.
Give love and be loved.
...And never lose sight
 of the One who
 gave you life.

I am going to be much more positive with my kids this afternoon.  They probably felt like I thought they were "bad kids" this morning, and they really are not.  They are great kids, who just happened to have a bad morning, just like all of us do from time to time.  We all need to remember to see the bigger picture, to quit beating ourselves up when we get off coarse.  It happens.  At this moment, I am going to have another cup of coffee and do some praying, positive thinking and some self-motivation before I start in on my chores and responsibilities.  Change starts with me.

Silent & Still

Finally got it up - an original song I wrote years ago, in my twenties, recorded recently by my brother.  I still feel it every time I sing it.  It's always a good reminder for me.

"Silent & Still"

I haven't heard from You in a while.
I just realized why.
I haven't stopped and listened, and really tried to hear.
I haven't really been silent and still.

I can't count the times I've felt sorry for myself
For the answers I didn't hear.
I pray for solutions, I pray for Your will, but I haven't really listened;
I haven't really been silent and still.

I will not hear Your sweet voice if I'm doing all the talking.
I will not see Your will unless I close my eyes to mine.
I will not know the peace that comes from the power one can feel
Unless I close my eyes open my heart and be silent and still.

Good Enough

"Good Enough"

~mg~  1/24/13

VS 1:
I overheard you talking about yourself.
I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with grief.
The you you perceive, just isn’t the you I see.
You never have to be good enough for Me.

Chorus:
You try and try, you fall, you fail and then you just give up.
Stop trying to earn my Love.
Just take this Gift.  Own this Grace.  Drink from Mercy’s cup.
There is no such thing... as “good enough”.

Vs 2:
Those sorrowful nights when you feel most alone and blue,
I watch tearfully, feeling such sadness too.
I’m waiting to hold you.  Won’t you look up and see?
You never have to be good enough for Me.

Chorus:
You try and try, you fall, you fail and then you just give up.
Stop trying to earn my Love.
So take this Gift.  Own this Grace.  Drink from Mercy’s cup.
There is no such thing... as “good enough”.

Bridge:
No one in this world knows you
Better than I do.
From My Love you cannot escape.
Chastising yourself for being
Fallible and weak,
Distracts you from calling on My strength.

2nd Chorus:
I see your heart, I stand and knock.  Won’t you let Me in?
It’s just Me.  Please, don’t clean up.
See, that’s my job.  It’s what I do.  Let healing now begin.
There is no such thing as “good enough”.

Perfect Last Day

So, tomorrow the world is supposed to end.  At least according to the Mayans and Nostradamus, and whomever else.  I was standing outside earlier, watching the snow flurries fly all around me.  I was waiting for my kids to get home from school.  I had sent my dad to go after them, since he has 4 wheel drive, and my car could never make it in the current snow storm.  There was almost a complete whiteout in the sky, and I couldn't see very far ahead.  I began to worry for their safety.  I said a quick prayer, to which I felt God give me a quick reply, "They're okay.  I've got them."  Suddenly, the intense white and crazy flurries seemed so peaceful to me.  It was a beautiful blizzard of sparkles... a cozy blanket that covered as far as I could see.  I know we are going to be okay.  He's got us.

That got me thinking a little... let's just suppose the world does actually end tomorrow, which, for the record, I don't believe; I would truly die a content soul.  Is my "bucket list" complete?  No.  Have all of my dreams come true?  No.  But, the things that are most important in life, in the universe, in the grand scheme of it all, I have.  I have been blessed with the opportunity to be mother to the three coolest, most wonderful kids.  I cannot even find words to describe the depth of my love for my babies.  They are my purpose.  And I have been blessed with their love, as well.  I have been blessed with such a great, loving family.  I have what truly matters.  I had to thank God in that moment.  I lifted my face to the sky and let the swirling, tiny, ice crystals land on my face.  I am content.

Content.  And how could I not be?  How could I ever wish for more?  I got to cuddle and kiss on my kiddos and let them know how much I love them today.  I got to hear it from them as well.  I got to tell my folks I love them, and give them hugs.  This afternoon, my boys played for hours in the snow, building their first ever igloo.  In fact, they are still out there perfecting it, taking an occassional break to come inside for hot chocolate. Also today, my daughter and I played Rock Band together... that's always fun.  A little bit ago, my dad invited us over to eat dinner with them, so we did that, and had a nice family time.  My kids and I plan to do a little baking this evening, and play some board games.  You know, I honestly could not ask for a more perfect last day on earth.  ;-)

Nate, getting a good start on the igloo.

Caleb and Nate... I love it when they work well together!

Pilin' on the snow.

I Will Not Move

This is a song I am working on.  My keyboard is at the church, so I couldn't lay out the music, but the lyrics just needed to come out, so here they are, in rough draft form.  I'll work on the music part later.  I have at least the basic melody in mind.

~~~

“I Will Not Move”
mg ~ 12/10/12

When I hear no sound, save my beating heart
I will not move.
When I look ahead and see just dark
I will wait for you.
When I think I know the way to go,
But I’m unsure what to do,
I will not move.

When I’m tempted to take a leap and trust,
I will not move.
When the options are so numerous
I will not choose.
Unless You speak straight to my soul,
And make the muddled unconfused,
I will not move.

I will not believe,
Unless you tell me it’s so.
I will not proceed
Unless You tell me to go.
I will not retreat.
I’ll stay planted and grow.
I will not move,
Until I know.

Years ago on this road I wandered off coarse
And I got lost.
Here and now I am found, though I seek higher ground,
But at what cost?
So unless things are clear, I will stand unmoved.
I will stand and wait this through.
I will not move.

I will not believe,
Unless you tell me it’s so.
I will not proceed
Unless You tell me to go.
I will not retreat.
I’ll stay planted and grow.
I will not move,
Until I know.

~~~

God has made it very clear to my heart that I am not to make any decisions based on emotion or whimsy.  I am keenly focused on not moving in any direction at all until God clearly leads me.  I have gotten myself in trouble so many times in my life when I did not have that focus.  When I am faced with scenarios and what-if's and am confused about the options that lie before me, I will stop and be still until answers become very obvious and clear.  When I am unsure, I will wait patiently until He reveals His path.    

"But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope."  Galatians 5:5

"He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defense; I shall not be moved."  Psalm 62:6

"Wait on the LORD. Be courageous, and he will strengthen your heart. Wait on the LORD!"  Psalm 27:14