Tuesday, December 29, 2009

"I Believe"

V1:
Just when I thought I had it all
Figured out,
You came into my life,
And you knocked me down.
Back to where my heart is new,
Back to when true love is true.
You are the reason I believe.

I took for granted
The unknown.
Got lost in the trying
To find home.
And all the things I thought I knew
Faded to grey when I found you.
You are the reason I believe.

Chorus:
Oh, where did you come from?
Oh, is this a dream?
You were always the one.
Now I believe.

V2:
I'm not so smart, I'm
Kinda dumb.
I missed the boat so many times,
Waiting for it to come.
And you were right in front of me.
It took too long for me to see.
Now, you are the reason I believe.

Chorus:
Oh, where did you come from?
Oh, is this a dream?
You were always the one.
Now I believe.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

"Love Is (My Christmas Carol)"

I am feeling so happy and full of life today. I've had a wonderful, Christmassy morning w/ my precious children. All bundled in our comfy, fuzzy jammies, we wrapped gifts & drank egg nog, and I played Christmas songs on the keyboard. There were lots of cuddles and hugs and "I love you's" and "Merry Christmas's" between us all this morning. Life doesn't get any sweeter!!! I'm in love, my kids are happy and healthy and I just feel so very thankful to God this Christmas season. I had to write about it, of course. After I wrote this song this morning, I sang it to my kids. They loved it! They gushed over it and made me feel even warmer inside. I'm so thankful for music, love, kids and life.

~~~~~~~~

"Love Is (my Christmas Carol)"

I am thankful for so many things.
I've so much more than I'd dreamed of.
My beautiful children, my family, life and friends,
And love... Sweet love.

This season I'm reminded of You, Jesus,
And all the gifts You've given me.
I'm happiest of all! My gift to You is small:
It's my eternal love...

Chorus:
Love is... Angels in the snow.
Love is... Christmas lights aglow.
Winter hugs and children laughing; snow is falling down.
Love is all around.
It's Christmas.

I feel so adored by You now.
You've made all of my dreams come true.
I can't help singing out! Love is all around.
I'll spend the rest of my life loving You!

Chorus:
Love is... Angels in the snow.
Love is... Christmas lights aglow.
Winter hugs and children laughing; snow is falling down.
Your love is all around.
It's Christmas.

Merry Christmas, my Jesus.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

"Rescued"

I'm very stubborn. Willful. This is not news to you. But sometimes, these things can be the death of me! Literally!!!

I've had a blood pressure problem for about a year now, which I haven't talked to many people about. There have been times it was so bad, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. I called my parents about it, and a close friend or two a few times when it got super bad, but for the most part, I just ignored it. I knew there was nothing I could do about it, after all, I was a single mom of three little ones, working full-time to make ends meet. And I had a lot of other stresses in my life, which in hindsight, I should have just completely disallowed. But that's another story... hindsight is 20/20. Anyway, suffice it to say, there wasn't a whole lot I could do to ease the burden I bore, and unfortunately, it began to affect my blood-pressure negatively.

Call me naive, but up until recently, I really had no idea how bad it is to have high blood pressure. I mean, I'm young, and pretty healthy. I had no clue it could have killed me. It wasn't until my loving and supportive boyfriend forced me to go in and have the doctor check it that I got the full picture of what might have happened had I continued to ignore the problem. I got lectured by the doctor for about an hour, and the whole time, Scott was sitting across the room from me with an, "I told you so... but I love you", sort of look on his face. I felt very humbled. Turns out, I actually could have died. Had a stroke. If I'd ignored the problem much longer, life could've gotten pretty ugly. Or ended. WOW!!!! What a wake up call!

So now I am on BP medication (hard to believe I have to take that at the age of 35... pretty crazy!). I'm starting to feel better already. We have to continue to monitor it of course, but it's so wonderful knowing I have someone who cares enough about me to make sure I am healthy. He makes me feel very loved. He's been my close friend for so many years. And I've known he's loved me for a while. But the way he loves me now, is frankly, just mind-blowing. He knows me soooo well. He knows my thought processes, and what my arguments will be. He knows my stubborn will, and how to deal with it. He is just such a blessing! He's everything I've prayed for. I don't really think I can find the words to explain it. He's a miracle.

Which brings me to my next point... I was sitting here for the past week considering the possibility that his gentle and loving, yet stubborn insistence very well may have saved my life. But to be honest, I feel he has saved my life in more ways than one.

So I wrote this poem....

~~~~~~

"Rescued"

Dec 16, 2009
By: MG for SJ

Love just may have saved my life
In ways innumerable.
I’d die a hundred lonely deaths,
Unloved; unlovable.
But just as soon as I’d assumed
I was just too far gone,
You swept me up and carried me
Through darkness into dawn.
You rescued me in spite of me.
You brushed aside my doubts.
You know me well. You know my past.
I tried to push you out,
For love and pain went hand in hand;
A double-edged sword.
Now, looking into true love’s eyes,
I know I am adored.
It makes me feel like all the scars
That screamed for far too long,
Have served their purpose beautifully.
Your subtle love is strong.
I will take for granted not
One moment of my days.
Your gentle heart and loving soul
Illuminate… Amaze.
I could have died in countless ways,
But I feel so alive!
Your passion is timeless and true.
My love, you’ve saved my life.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Life is good.

I'm happy today! I won't get into all of the reasons why, cuz' as you know, I can be wordy! I'll just summarize and say that God is sooooooo wonderful and faithful and good! He takes care of me. Always, and without fail. I am so far from where I want to be, and no where near perfect. And yet, somehow, My God sees fit to shower me with blessings. It completely amazes me. I don't know that His Mercy, Grace and Love are things that I will ever come to expect. I'm perpetually surprised by Him.

I gotta talk about my kids for a minute...

One of the many things I am so happy about is the fact that my kids got their report cards yesterday, and they are all doing so awesome! Gosh, I am so proud. Bre and Caleb came to live w/ me September 2008, when I received primary custody of them. Before that, I only saw them every other weekend during the school year, which was absolutely heart-breaking. Since that time, I have seen them grow and improve in so many ways. Nate has always been with me, of course. He and I prayed for so many years that all of us could be together a whole lot more. And even though the circumstances which have finally enabled that were less than positive, we are now together. Our prayers were answered. And everyone is just doing so well! My babies are so smart and sweet and wonderful. I am one very blessed and proud mama.

Yes, we have our tough moments. After all, they are kids. They do act up sometimes. And I am still learning how to do this single mom of three thing. It's pretty hard some days. But all in all, I'd say it's going incredibly well. They are such a joy to me. Life has not been a very easy one for them, sadly. Nor for me. But, having the opportunity to see my kids' academic, emotional and spiritual growth this past year has been such an honor, and one of things I am thankful for on this happy day.

I'm recognizing the way our God is taking care of us all. And I'm thankful.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

My Weekend w/ the Kids

I am so blessed to have been raised in a Godly home. It's something I've often taken for granted. But this weekend was one of those times that re-reminded me of just how incredibly blessed I am to have the upbringing and the parents that I do.

Breauna's best friend stayed the night w/ us on Friday. She's a sweetheart! I want to adopt her! She thanked me profusely for all the stuff we'd done that evening. Stuff which was really just normal weekend stuff, but was so out of the ordinary and special for her to experience. She recited it all. She mentioned how cool it was that I picked them up from school, how I took them to the video store and let them pick out movies, how I'd ordered pizza, made them a pie, played board and card games with them, laughed with them, watched Disney movies with them, then said prayers with them, hugged them and tucked them in bed. It made me feel good to feel so appreciated!

Saturday morning, Bre's little friend was very quiet. Bre told me it was because she was sad that she'd have to go home, and that she wanted to live with us. Soooo... we decided to make Saturday the best day ever. And it was! I made them huge chocolate chip pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon and chocolate milk for breakfast. I played games with them. I took them out to eat at In-n-Out for lunch. We went with some friends to see "A Christmas Carol" at the movie theater. Then I took them on a shopping spree at the Dollar Tree (kid heaven). We decided to let her stay another night. I made her the dinner of her choice (which was cheeseburger macaroni, green beans, garlic bread and cherry pie), rented another movie of their choice, and once again, said prayers and gave hugs when I tucked them in at bed time. I overheard her tell Bre that she had the nicest, coolest mom ever. Then I overheard Bre agree. It was the neatest feeling.

These things are normal to me because of how I was raised: praying at mealtime and bedtime, hugs and affection, praise words and positive talk in the home, activities done together as a family, going to church, talking regularly about God and what it means to be a Christian, and the list goes on and on. Not all homes involve these activies, and some families have such an absence of family values and love. I want to publicly praise my parents for raising me in such a positive way.

I wish I could adopt every child out there who's hurting. But I can't. What I CAN do is continue to shower my own children (and any friends they bring over) with love and affection, Godly values, and a peaceful home environment. I really feel honored and blessed to be a mom. And I am so very thankful for my wonderful parents, who taught how to be one.

Friday, November 13, 2009

My Bucket List


* Learn to snowboard.
* Take my kids to Disneyland.
* Lay on the beach on a tropical island.
* Explore Ireland.
* Visit a quaint, coastal town laid out on a hillside in Italy.
* Meet, fall in love with, then marry my best friend.......... Then grow old together.
* See my daughter get married.
* See my sons grow to be men of character and strength.
* Write a book of poetry and have it published.
* Own a house with a big yard & get a dog for my kids.
* Learn how to waterski.
* Visit New York.
* Go to an opera in an evening gown.
* Get re-certified and go scuba diving somewhere tropical.
* Write an auto-biography.
* Have another baby (after I meet, fall in love with and marry my best friend, of course).
* Go on a road trip on the back of a motorcycle.
* Own a gigantic trampoline
* Fly to Minnesota with my kids, so they can meet all the family they have out there.
* Walk through a forest full of butterflies.
* Go skydiving.

A song I'm workin' on....

Only always
I see Your face,
Revealed with Grace
In countless ways.

Verse:
All it takes is just
One small act of trust
To learn He'll find You're treasure
Beneath rust.
Polished and refined,
All it takes is time,
To see the beauty ashes
Tried to hide.

Chorus:
Only always
I see Your face,
Revealed with Grace
In countless ways.

Bridge:
So many times I didn't see
New forest for those old, burnt trees.
Too many times I couldn't see beyond...
me.