Shallow Things

I have thought about often over the years how we as modern day humans focus most or all of our attention on things that don't matter in the "Big Picture" of life.  I believe now more than ever that we were not placed here for our own entertainment or pleasure. We have become so distracted by media and influences and worries about what others may think about us, that we have lost sight of what truly matters as a society.  We are created as Eternal beings. What is our Legacy?  Have we done a wonderful job at imparting it?  Or have we hidden our Truth in order to not be frowned upon, and in order to protect ourselves?  Has our focus become what other people think of us?  How much money we make?  What profession we have? Where we live?  What we possess?  Is our subconscious primary focus upon the acceptance from others?  Is it shallow?

God, who created you, created you for so much more. Are you making an impact positively on this world, or are you just existing? Are you just living to please others and fulfill what they believe is the best for your own life?  Or, living for just your own wants and whims?  Are you living to uphold the image you wish to portray?  Are you living in a way that is deeply imbedded in self?  We need to look a lot deeper. A whole lot deeper. Human beings are Spiritual Beings. But we don't see ourselves as that. We get so lost in the things of this world, that we lose sight of our Eternal purpose. I, for one, am so done with all of that!  I want to live in such a way that God, Himself, would be pleased.  I want to live in such a way that those around me would see nothing but Love and Light.  Otherwise, what point is there for me to be at all?  Life, alone, is not the point.  It is what we do with it.

I truly believe we should all be asking ourselves this question. Then, answer honestly to ourselves. And then... reach out to GOD and ask Him for answers, whether we believe He will answer back, or not.  If we do this with a genuinely open heart, I can assure you... God will answer you.  We will begin to be enlightened.

Please, let us all live with purpose!  And let us know better than to be consumed by the darkness that is ever so present in our age, but let us be filled with the Holy Spirit, and be guided by only LOVE.

Yes, I know, deep thoughts on this ordinary Thursday evening. That is all I had to share this evening, and it was very heavy on my heart.  I really felt I had to try to convey this thought: If we all disregard the deeper things for the shallow things, we will all sink, together.

Dad...

I am a Pastor's daughter.  This has come with both heartache and joy.  But I think I may be one of the rare few individuals in this life who absolutely hit the jackpot! 

My Dad is a giver.  I want to be like him.  It doesn't matter if he is tired, mentally weary, or depressed... he gives.  Even if the gifter does not appreciate it at the time, or ever, he faithfully gives.  Even if he is chastised for being too "soft" (which is in contrast to his years before becoming a Christian), he gives.  Even if he hasn't much, he gives.  He gives everything!  Time, energy, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, empathy and wisdom (the list goes on).  All the eternally lasting things.  He can't help it.  He just gives.  I can relate, but on a less conscious level.  My Dad seems to give even when it hurts him personally.  Wow. Now, THAT is love. 

I want to be just like you, Dad!  Thank you for showing me how to be a good person.  Thank you for being an extraordinarily exemplary dad to me, and grandpa to my kids.  I owe everything I am to God, who you personally introduced me to at a very young age.  My knowledge of scripture and introduction to Jesus are priceless gifts you gave to me.

I love you for so many reasons.  But the way you are so giving makes me see Christ in you in a real, daily, genuine way. I am forever grateful to God for making me your daughter.

Recent Vision about Thoughts

A few weeks ago I was up in the mountains praying, when right in the middle of it, a negative thought interrupted my beautiful prayer time. I was able to recognize instantly that this was not a thought I wanted, needed, or even should entertain, so I consciously chose to shut it out of my mind and went on with my prayer.  But God interrupted me this time and asked me to pay attention to what it felt like when I shut that unwanted thought off.  I told him it felt a lot like just closing a sliding door on it, hearing the swoosh and click and knowing it was gone. That is when he gave me the analogy of the drive-thru window. It seems like such a silly little metaphor, but I got it!  God speaks to us all exactly where we are, and in exactly the ways that we can understand. He speaks to all who will have ears to hear.

~~~

Part 1: Choosing Our Thoughts

I am sitting in the restaurant at the drive-thru window waiting for the next order to pull up.  I am the employee in this vision, and I represent free-will.  The cars that pull up represent thought.  Since I have been trained by my awesome boss, God, to be discerning, I can know which thoughts I want to take orders from and which ones I do not.  If a thought pulls up that I know I do not want to entertain or should not entertain, I simply close the window on it.  The thought cannot speak to me any longer.  I can still see it sitting there waiting, but it can't communicate with me. The only way it can speak to me is if I choose to open the window again. If I choose to leave the window closed, the thought eventually leaves.  Sometimes, before it has left, I choose to open the window back up to that thought, but when I realized I do not like the order, I close the window again.  Sometimes, the opening and closing of the window has to go on for a while until I really get that this is not an order that I would like to take.  And I do not have to take it!  It is my choice.  So, swish goes the window and up goes my inner peace.  Additionally, when a good thought pulls up, I can take its order and leave the window open as long as I want/need to.  Again, it is up to me (free-will).

Part 2: God-guided Prayer

When I get really experienced and adept at my job at the drive-thru, God-guided prayers start to pull up to the window.  (Side note:  God showed me that there is not a large difference between thought and prayer. They are similar but not the same. Thoughts can creep in subconsciously, while prayer is a conscious choice and a giving to God of our time and attention. He also showed me that with further training, we can be much more conscious of thought, and become much more in tune to the Holy Spirit through constant prayer). When a God-guided prayer pulls up to the window, I recognize it instantly, as I know what those feel like because of my previous, extensive training. These God-guided prayers always align with the Bible, come in quite unexpectedly, and really stand out from the others; much like a fancy sports car would in a drive drive-thru line.  These God-guided prayers I know with certainty I want to open the window for.  But, now I feel insecure and unworthy.  What if I don't feel I have anything of value to offer?  And why does God need little ol' drive-thru worker ME (you) to affect any change?  God showed me that my prayer is like the oil that powers the engine. God is omnipotent and does not need my prayers to act, right? No!! Wrong. Yes, He is the only Omnipotent (All-powerful), and as such, He has chosen to give us free-will.  God has, therefore, chosen with His Divine will to be limited in our Earthly realm to our humanly free-will.  If I do not take the order and send the car on its way, God may not be able to act as efficiently.  He may be limited to divine intervention, which I do not feel he imparts on a regular basis, because of the gift of free-will. The scripture that comes to mind is "you have not because you ask not".  So yes, He does need our prayers!  NEEDS them!  The Bible says He "covets our prayers"!!! They are the oil that sends the fancy sports car roaring on it's awesome way.  Wow.  The Power of Prayer takes on new meaning when we grasp this.

Part 3:  Praying in the Spirit

God showed me that I do not need to be afraid of what I will pray for, because I am well trained by this point in recognizing these God guided prayers. I have asked him to come into my heart and be God of my life.  I have finally reached that place of full surrender and been promoted to  manager (this would be what some call "sanctification", or having a pure heart, or "the second act of Salvation".  I call it Full Surrender/Spiritual Awakening.) I am now Discerning because of His Holy Spirit.  I will only desire to ask for the things that are of God. And I will end each prayer request to God with, "Your Will be done". I will not want to pray for things that are evil to happen.  If I do want to pray for things that are evil, then that means I need to be retrained at my job because I have demoted myself with my own choices.  Maybe even demoted myself to mopping floors and scrubbing toilets (been there!!). God showed me that there are two types of employees (read: free-will): a) Employees that have to learn the hard way because of their choices.  Some learn faster than others. b) Employees that excel because they make choices that may be contrary to their own will, but submit to God's will anyway. 

~~~

Thoughts and PRAYER were the point of this Vision.  Effective prayer.  Prayer without ceasing.  Learn to control your thoughts so that your prayers can be more effective, and have room to move into position.  Pray.  Pray some more.  Then pray some more.  And some more.  Fuel that racecar! Be a Prayer Warrior.

~~~

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV) Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:26-28 (NLT) And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.  And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. James 4:2-3 (NIV) You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. Proverbs 15:29 (NIV) "The Lord is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous". Psalm 145:18-19 (GNT) "He is near to those who call to him, who call to him with sincerity.  He supplies the needs of those who honor him; He hears their cries and saves them."

Judgmentalism

Confession...

I am judgemental of judgmental people.

I find myself having very little patience for people who have a "holier-than-thou" attitude.  I loathe a divisive spirit. When I see people putting themselves up on a pedestal because they feel more righteous than others, and therefore look down on them and treat them like they are bad human beings just for being human beings, it fills me with such anger. 

I recall reading in the Bible about how Jesus referred to the Pharisees as vipers. He called them whitewashed sepulchres, which are beautiful tombs on the outside but inside, contain dead bones.  So, I know he did not like a judgemental spirit, either.  He made it pretty clear.

Please note: I am not talking about having good/bad judgement, or discerning fruits. What I am talking about is "judgmentalism", if that is even a word.   Here is a hypothetical analogy/example.  I am blessed to go to a church where this is not the norm, and our congregation is populated by people who refuse to judge, but instead, embrace all:
Sally is a beautiful woman who goes to church every Sunday, has a good job and is a leader in her community. People look up to Sally because she appears to be so perfect, holy, whatever.  But when Sally goes to work at her sales job, she regularly tells lies to meet her sales quota.  She also gossips at work, regularly.  Sally has a friend named Joe, who struggles in his life with an addiction.  Joe only makes it to church once every few months, and whenever he does, Sally looks down her nose at him.  She can smell the alcohol on his breath when he goes to greet her after church. She can see that he hasn't washed his hair in days. The whole encounter only last a few moments each time he does make it to church, and she quickly concludes the transaction between them by telling him she will pray for him (which she rarely, if ever, does).  Soon, Joe becomes disheartened.  He is depressed, and tired of feeling judged.  He stops attending church, and turns his back on Christianity. Sally never even took the time to sit with him and talk to him in depth about his feelings or his past, or the reasons "why" behind the addiction. She simply looked at the action, thanked God that she did not have the same weaknesses, and placed herself up on a spiritual pedestal.  She is somehow able to justify her own lies, but is unable to be unconditionally loving, humble and kind.  Who is more wrong in this scenario?

But here is the point of this post....

Should I even be concerned with who is more wrong? Is my anger at Sally simply being judgemental, myself?  Or is it how I handle my feelings around this that determines whether or not I am being judgemental?  Shouldn't I be patient with those who are judgemental? Or should I call them out on it like Jesus did?  Where do we draw the line?  I feel that judgemental people are spiritual bullies.  And I really struggle with these feelings.

These are things I am praying about, sincerely. I am open to any and all input on this matter. I truly want to grow, and that starts with owning my own weaknesses.

Judgmentalism makes me crazy! 😜  You know what I think? I think being judgeMENTAL is mental!  It is all bad, and is rooted in Pride.  I think I would rather grow in LOVE.  I am praying that God shows me how to do this better.

Night Vision

And when the dawn came,
She awoke to dried up tears. 
She became aware of a change,
A big change
within her.
She smiled, weary,
Though oddly at peace.
They thought the darkness
could overcome her,
But all she needed was
the smallest shred of hope,
until it all came rushing in,
like a torrent of light. 
She breathed it in deeply.
Awareness was her weapon. 
Never again would she allow darkness
to rob her of her Hope.
Never again would her light
be dimmed. 
There was one priceless gift
given to her
in the throws of the nightmares:
Night vision.
None could sneak up on her;
for God granted her intuition, discernment,
and intense bravery.
This made her calm
in the face of adversity;
Not because she didn't hurt,
But because she had a weapon,
That no one
could take away from her.
Night would fall again,
but she would be ready.
Bruised, but not broken.
Beaten, but brave.
A quiet warrior,
Awaiting the night.
Waiting in peaceful silence
to obliterate it
with her will
and her Light.

A prayer from a Broken Heart

You are our peace,
When we don't understand.
Beauty from ashes
Are at Your command.
We give You this ache.
We call on Your name.
Sweet Jesus, bring healing.
Bring peace down like rain.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Rena,

I love you, my sweet, beautiful, talented, big-hearted, amazing cousin.  You will be so dearly missed!  May God hold you in His very arms and hug you tight. 💔

Monica

Hurts to Grow

Rescue. 
Isn't that what I need?
I've been waiting here,
Patiently.

Shelter
From the falling world,
Threatening to drown
This girl.

But maybe I was meant
to sink
To the bottom of everything
I think,
And drown in the softest Love
I'll ever know.
I'm learning.
Sometimes it hurts
to grow.

Valleys
Teach us everything.
We don't need to fly
To see.

Strength comes
When you lay down your might.
You don't have to fight
For peace.

So, maybe this time
We bleed.
Wounds heal.
Scars mark history.
Even though sometimes it hurts
To grow,
We're learning.
We're stronger than
We know.