Some of the deepest prayers are the ones you sing...

I just wrote this song a minute ago - music and all! It's very exciting. It's the first song-song I have written in months. I've been just writing poetry for a while. But I was playing my keyboard this afternoon, and suddenly felt the Holy Spirit come upon me, and this prayer came out. It may be simple, but I wasn't thinking in terms of eloquence as I was singing it.... it's just my heart, raw. It's something I felt I should share.

"Song of Repentance"

You are my God and

I am your daughter,

But you would never know.

I keep on breakin’

Your heart and takin’

For granted how You show

Me unconditional

Love, Because I can’t

Seem to fathom this task.

How could you love me?

How could You give me

So much more than I ask?

~

And all I do is take……

~

Somewhere in between

Who I used to be

And who I am becoming

Is the girl you see.

I’m not much, but I’m me.

All I’ve got’s this song I sing,

But if You will hold me

And not let go of me,

I know I will do You proud.

God, just keep teachin',

And I will keep reachin'.

This is what my life’s about.

~

I just wanna give….

~

God won’t you take this

Song of repentance,

And make my heart clean and new?

I am done runnin’.

Please won’t you come in.

I surrender it all to You.

You are my God and

I am your daughter,

And I could not be more proud

To be called Your own

I can’t wait to come home,

But til’ then I’ll sing out loud,

~

“I love you!”

"Seven Months"

Time’s gone by,

And still we’re here;

Best friends like always, Love.

One thing I know:

You’re nothing but

A gift from God above.

And every day

I thank him for

The friend I’ve found in you.

You are different from the rest.

You are a dream come true.

And through hard times

We still can say

One thing that has not changed:

We are best friends,

We still have love,

And these two will remain.

I love you.

Kutless - "Winds of Change"

“WINDS OF CHANGE”

By Kutless

Can you feel the pains in life?
Wrapped around you like they're chains
Restricting all your dreams
Do you wonder if there is a way?
A way to set you free
Set you free

So tell me all your dreams
Tell me all your fears and what you're longing for the most
It's not another way
That'll end up the same for it's under my control

Do you feel the winds of change?
Soon this weight will fall away
And take you to a place
Only found through these winds of change
A breeze that's new and free
New and free

So tell me all your dreams
Tell me all your fears and what you're longing for the most
It's not another way
That'll end up the same for it's under my control

I'll be the one who you can cry to
The one who will give you wings
I will give you wings

Someday we'll sail away
Mounted up on wings like eagles
We will run and will not fade away

So tell me all your dreams
Tell me all your fears and what you're longing for the most
It's not another way
That'll end up the same for it's under my control

I'll be the one who you can cry to
The one who will give you wings
I will give you wings

The one who will give you wings
I will give you wings
To set you free
The one who will give you wings

"Dreams"

Maybe I knew it would end up this way
Because I could see to your heart
I saw all the walls that would not go away
I saw how they ripped me apart
I hoped beyond hope that I could tear them down
Exposing what you would not feel
We were always together each night in my dreams
I prayed that the dreams would be real
But when I awoke, Reality crushed
My poor pathetic facade
And showed me that we have let each other down
By not just embracing this love
I wanted it so. I tried very hard
But always I felt so alone
And so I let go, so you could move on
And maybe our hearts could find home.
If not in each other, then I don't know where
I can't even think like that now
All that I know, is I foresaw this day
Now I wish I could end it somehow.
And go back in time, and take back the things
We never intended to say
And choose to be real and choose to just trust
And choose to let walls fall away
But what's done is done. We must look ahead.
I know that we'll always be friends.
This unexplained love will not fade with time
For love always wins in the end.

"Friends"

I know I said I loved you.

I still can say it’s true,

But I can also say that

I am not meant for you.

You and I are different

In the ways of love,

And so I bid you farewell,

And thank our God above

For giving me the chance to

Learn and love and grow,

And I am sure you’ll move on.

It won’t take long, I know.

You, my friend, are special,

And I will always be

One who truly cares so;

Much more than you could see.

So if you need me call me,

And you know I’ll be there.

I’m so glad we are friends.

Please always know I care.

"That Which Will End"

We spend so much time

Running from life…

Finding ways to escape it;

When all we really should be doing

Is living it.

Embracing it.

How can one become aware

Of this agonizing reality,

And yet be unable

To evade it?

How can one find a way

To want to be alive…

I never see the road ahead,

Nor any of us;

And yet we run

With reckless adandon

Into the unknown:

Inevitable loss.

Why?

Why does love become

The pursuit of all we are?

Why does passion consume

And change us so?

So I drown myself

In things which distract

And numb the ache of life.

And I tell myself

It is possible

To live without love,

And be truly alive.

And I inhale deeply

A brave sort of breath,

And I know that I’ll be

Just fine.

Alone.

Alive.

Then the phone rings,

And all at once

All of my courage

Is flushed from my heart,

And replaced by a love

Which devours.

And all of my dreams,

And all my desire

And hope become

Only love.

And life becomes,

Once again,

The painful pursuit

Of that which will

End.

A prayer/song

....life seems to go in cycles. I wrote this song almost exactly 6 years ago. It came to my mind as I was praying this morning. It seems to fit where I am at again.

"All That I Hold Dear"

Wisdom, pain and pride accompanied by

Insecurity and double-eyes.

These are qualities that compile my life;

This is who I am and why I cry.

Yesterday is gone; I can’t erase it.

Bad decisions plague my little life.

All I want to do is make decisions

That fill me with respect and You with pride.

So make me into somebody bigger

Than who I see in this fun-house mirror.

Take me and all that is within me,

And make me make You all that I hold dear.

Self-esteem and wisdom tempered by

Kindness, patience and gentle, humble eyes;

A heart that seeks to serve and not to get praise,

This is what I’m seeking in my life.

And so I pray for more of You inside me.

So I scream and yearn to know Your peace.

Every day will be a growing, learning

Experience of becoming less like me.

Make me into somebody bigger

Than who I see in this fun-house mirror.

Take me and all this is within me,

And make me make You all that I hold dear.

Jesus, you are all that I hold dear.