"Me & You"

You meant so much to me

I hope if I showed you one thing

I hope that it was how to love

With only everything you have

There were times I got it wrong

Yes, I wasn’t always strong

After all is said and done

I pray that you felt truly loved.

“Never” never was a word

I thought I’d say in words to you

But words can never be unsaid

And actions done we can’t undo

Please promise me, my dear,

That through the trials and through the tears

You’ll see light beyond the dark

And only love shines in your heart

I hope that one day what we’ve learned

Will somehow heal the bitter burn

And we will understand how to

Love because of me and you.

"Runner"

Running away.

You never stay.

Must be my fault;

I knew all along.

You can’t blame a girl

For hope in this world.

I sure held on

For far too long.

Wonder where you

Will run away to?

This time maybe

You’ll finally be free,

Or maybe while I

Lie here and cry

You will see too,

You’re running from you.

"Love & Be Loved"

I thought you were the one

Who’d take my doubt away.

You left me here alone,

Not once; repeatedly.

You knew this day would come.

A heart can only take so much.

A flower cannot grow

Without a tender touch.

I’m letting go tonight

Of all my hopes and dreams,

But somehow, still I know,

Someday I’ll be happy.

You’ll live your life alone,

Surrounded by a crowd.

I’ll live my life in peace,

And I am starting now.

And one day one will see

Everything that I am,

And love me completely,

And not pretend he can’t.

I’m happy in my pain,

For I see past the storm.

Beyond the rain’s a life

To which I won’t conform.

I will be only me.

I’ll love the way I do,

And it will be enough…

More than it was for you.

I hope you get your wish,

Whatever it may be.

Your resurrected walls

Have caused me now to flee.

I won’t be coming back.

I know that I deserve

The same thing we all do:

To be loved in return.

"Giving In"

Wanting you so bad

How I fought the fight

Desperate to cling to

What wasn’t right

In the end

All the fighting did

Was make me lose

Reflecting on

All the sacrifice

And I still lost you

When all is said and done, I see…

I almost lost me.

This is not giving up,

It’s giving in to love.

Love is not the way

You treated me

Love is not the way

I expressed my need

Sometimes love

Is letting go

When there’s no other

Way to show

Potential is nothing more than this…

“What if?”

When all is said and done, I see…

I almost lost me.

This is not giving up,

It’s giving in to love.

I can’t make a mountain move

By singing.

I can’t make someone hold on

By clinging.

I can only hope

That in letting go,

Both of us will learn.

That to one day feel the joy of

Knowing deep and lasting true love

We must feel the burn,

...then heal.

When all is said and done, I see…

I almost lost me.

This is not giving up,

It’s giving in… to love.

What I Remember.........

The way you laughed

The way you smelled

The blueness of your eyes

The way your touch

Could make me melt

And let down my disguise

The way I felt

As if a child

All lost in dreams of love

The way your smile

Was my one goal

It’s what dreams are made of

The way you slept

The way you sang

The way you talked with me

For hours on end

Of nothing but

Our fears and all our dreams

The way you cuddled

Close at night

The way you held my hand

The way you tucked

Your kids in bed

Made you a model man

The way you loved

To take in life

And cherish memories

The way you Feared

Our God above

Made you a saint to me

With all the things

That we’ve been through

The things that stand out most

Are all the reasons

It will always

Hurt that I let go.

"Again the Fool"

Here I am again the fool
Drowning in an empty pool
Choking on a promise made
Burning in the bed I laid.

Fallen down again it seems
Broken heart and broken dreams
I've come to expect this fate
Love has always made me wait.

Sometimes I think it's my fault
For never feeling loved at all
If I was more lovable
Love would never let me go.

But wallowing in self pity
Defeats the quest for serenity
No one can make me happy
Joy is a choice. It's up to me

And so these dreams I'll let go of
And drop the pursuit of true love
And Look upon the brighter side
And choose to grow and not to hide

I will lift my head up high
I will not let myself cry
I am tired of all the tears
I think that I'll be numb for years

"Awake"

It’s hard to sleep when all I do is think

About the things I can’t predict,

I can’t control or understand or see.

I cannot even call and vent.

It’s hard to sleep when you’re so far away.

I know you say it isn’t so,

But I feel deeper into you than you

Might want to admit that you know.

And all I see each time I close my eyes

Is how you look away from mine.

My heart is reaching out again for you.

Your heart is just as cold as ice.

And sometimes you will admit to these truths,

And tell me that’s just how it is.

You will protect your heart at any cost,

But where do I factor in this?

I feel like I mean nothing to you, love,

Nothing more than the hole I fill:

A warm body and an accepting heart.

The problem, though, is that I feel.

If I could just shut off this loneliness,

I think that I could maybe sleep.

If I could settle for an empty wish,

The hurt would not reach down so deep.

But somehow I know the potential here.

The walls that you erect are strong,

But I’ve seen through them to a far off land;

A place I thought that I belonged.

You swore to me almost a year ago

That you would never let me in.

I never believed that you meant it so.

I never thought the past would win.

This year has had its’ share of bitter rain.

We both have slipped and fallen down.

We’ve weather storms. We’ve moved beyond the pain.

I hate to see us drowning now.

Do you think sometimes there just comes a time

That though you fight to make a spark,

You can’t ignite a fire that isn’t there?

Please, was it ever in your heart?

Or did you take a chance on me and hope

That one day you would find yourself

Feeling the way for me I felt for you.

I don’t think that you ever fell.

True love is not something you fall into.

It either is, or it’s not love.

I wonder if you lie awake like me.

I wonder what you’re dreaming of.